


The 1

by brujadelmar, topkyungsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Fusion, Angst, Breakups, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, M/M, Minor Oh Sehun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Miscommunication, Mixed feelings, Personal Growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29519712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brujadelmar/pseuds/brujadelmar, https://archiveofourown.org/users/topkyungsoo/pseuds/topkyungsoo
Summary: Chanyeol finds out that his best friend, Kyungsoo, is about to marry another man. The problem is that Kyungsoo used to be in love with Chanyeol and now, Chanyeol is going to be his best man.[ For top!soo fest round 4: Movie AU ]
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 28
Kudos: 48
Collections: top!soo fest: round 4 (2020-2021)





	1. The greatest films of all time were never made

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you mods! I wanna thank my beta for being so nice and cheering me up so I could finish this story. I hope everyone enjoys it~

“Who’s Kyungsoo?” Hyoyeon asked, munching her noodles.

Chanyeol frowned, confused for a second. No one had ever asked him this question—well, maybe when he was a kid? No, not even back then. Everybody who knew Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo and vice versa. There was no doubt.

He picked the chopsticks and raised them, mouth open, expecting a very easy sentence to leave his lips. He said nothing.

“Kyungsoo,” Stephany said, a little offended. “Come on. He’s the guy who’s always wearing black. You know him, Hyo.”

Everyone else in the table was having their own conversations so he didn’t expect the birthday girl to intervene. It was loud inside the room and Chanyeol was late to the party, barely had time to pick a decent outfit to match the dressing code.

“He would fit here well,” Chanyeol realized, noticing the black-and-red theme.

“Yeah, he would,” Stephany said, almost pouting. “Why didn’t he come, again?”

“Working—well, he’s living abroad, didn’t he tell you?”

“Well, he did,” she raised her plate, hoping someone next to her would notice. “But it’s summer. He could have the time to spend back home, right?”

“He’s a workaholic,” Chanyeol smiled. “What do you want, noona?”

“Just—I want more cake,” she said, a bit shy. Everybody was having the meal before the cake, and she was in her second slice so far. “Soo-ya, please.”

“Oh,” Hyoyeon slammed the table, cucumber slice between her teeth. “I know him. Of course, I know. The little ninja guy. Oh, he’s nice.”

Chanyeol smiled.

“He’s a director,” he explained. He knew she wasn’t serious, but he was proud of his best friend and his international career. Also, Chanyeol liked to brag.

“Music?” She asked.

“Movies,” he informed her quickly. “He’s into historical and dramas, but he’s very versatile. His last short film went straight to Cannes.”

“Is that possible?” Hyoyeon was impressed.

“Well, yeah, it debuted there,” Chanyeol was content, thinking about his lifelong friend. For a second, he forgot that he was at a party. The last months had been a little sad without Kyungsoo around. It was not the first time that he left for a long period, but this time he didn’t even pick the phone often.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo grew up together. They had a couple of friends around, like Sehun and Junmyeon, but they weren’t the same age or into the same things, at least not when they were too young. When they were kids, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo liked songs and music and acting and… so many things at the same time. Video games, food, cartoons, and anime. They were truly best friends. Kyungsoo had a ‘special chair’ at Chanyeol’s house, reserved for him only. Chanyeol was always the friend to call Kyungsoo’s parents to ask for anything.

When they became teenagers, things started to change.

It was subtle at the beginning. After all, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were very different, from appearances to personality. Chanyeol was an extrovert, tall and loud, and Kyungsoo was just a short, baby-faced introvert who was always over-polite. When they reached high school, they still did the same things, like watching movies, singing songs, and cooking meals, but not as often as when they were pre-teens. The path to adulthood made Kyungsoo more and more interested in movies, while Chanyeol had a thousand interests, changing hobbies like he was changing hoodies. As they gained more freedom, Chanyeol wanted to travel away and Kyungsoo didn’t even like to walk in the streets.

And, as they noticed silently, Chanyeol was much more into dating than Kyungsoo. Chanyeol loved to flirt and go out on dates and though he had been rejected a thousand times, he kept trying to find someone for him. Kyungsoo spent his days, studying, cooking, and staying at home.

“Chanyeol,” Stephanie called him. “Hey, Chanyeollie!”

He blinked a few times.

“Sorry, noona!”

“You didn’t finish your noodles,” she pointed. “They’re serving the cake, do you want a slice?”

“Yes, yes,” he said quickly.

Sooyoung put the cake in front of him while Chanyeol was trying to finish his meal. Chanyeol got lost in thought again, mostly because that was something that he thought about a lot.

The space between the two of them grew further because of Chanyeol. A big mistake when they were about to graduate, fresh nineteen.

Chanyeol wasn’t very perceptive and that happened because he was always busy with something. A new hobby, a new crush to chase, a new album to listen to… he wasn’t into subtleties when his focus was everywhere. So sometimes, he had a hard time figuring out a meticulous person like Kyungsoo.

When they were kids and then later, teens, Kyungsoo always gave Chanyeol chocolates on Valentine’s day and White day. Chanyeol’s mom found it absolutely cute and constantly baked things so Chanyeol could feed Kyungsoo back. It wasn’t anything very fancy and sometimes there was a cute card, probably bought somewhere.

Chanyeol liked that. He kept Kyungsoo’s cards in his closet among his precious things. He and Kyungsoo did a lot of coupley things, such as having the same rings or eating cake on Christmas and Chanyeol had never found it odd. Actually, he felt proud telling everyone that he wouldn’t wear black on Single’s days due to his best friend Kyungsoo and his cute cards and chocolates. Chanyeol didn’t mind those signs of affection and he was also like that with his other best friend, Sehun, even if they weren’t that close back then.

When Chanyeol was nineteen, he had a girlfriend on Valentine’s day for the first time in his life - a recent relationship with a girl from another school. He was excited for Valentine’s day for the first time, anticipating his official dating gift and he couldn’t stop talking about that while Kyungsoo and he were taking the train home.

“I know she’ll give me chocolate, but it’s okay,” Chanyeol confessed. “You know I like chocolate.”

The train wasn’t crowded because they left school earlier than usual; both were sitting down, staring at the window in front of them.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said and he opened the bag that was on his lap. “I bought your favorite this year as well.”

Chanyeol smiled, content. A guy was walking around with a radio, playing a classic love song.

“Ah, no card?” He mocked. “I’m kidding. You know, you didn’t have to. I’m dating, so I don’t need an excuse to pretend that I’m not single on Single’s day!”

Kyungsoo put the chocolate on Chanyeol’s hand and didn’t look at him. His glasses were too big for his face and they were falling down his nose, but Kyungsoo didn’t fix it.  
“I know,” he said with a low voice. “That wasn’t the reason why I bought you chocolates every year.”

Chanyeol didn’t understand at first and he wanted to ask why but suddenly Kyungsoo took his glasses off his face and kept them in his coat pocket. It was a code; he didn’t want to talk. Chanyeol frowned, words dying on his mouth. He only realized what that meant when Kyungsoo left on his stop without even saying goodbye.

Chanyeol missed his own stop and had to walk home.

“Chanyeol,” one of the girls screamed. “Eat this cake or I will!”

He stared at the cake, pink glace, and colorful sprinkles, and he missed his best friend again. It was such a terrible mistake, he knew. The problem wasn’t Kyungsoo’s confession or Chanyeol’s possible rejection. The problem was that Chanyeol didn’t know what to do.

The night after Kyungsoo told him was awful. Chanyeol felt ashamed, betrayed, and especially stupid. He reminisced every single moment they spent together and thought about how Kyungsoo could have felt, how it could have looked like. He was ashamed of looking like a couple with Kyungsoo, felt betrayed because Kyungsoo had never said anything and stupid for not noticing.

He avoided Kyungsoo for a month. He needed that time to figure out what he should do. He asked for his sister’s advice, searched on the internet, and talked to himself a lot. In these moments, he wasn’t sure yet if their friendship would survive. Then, one day, he listened to a good song and, without thinking any further, sent it to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo answered: _it’s nice._

And then they went back to talking like nothing happened. The next time Chanyeol saw him in person, he thought Kyungsoo was pretty, with his cute face, big eyes and lips, and curvy body, and then felt really dumb to regret being seen as his boyfriend.

To no one’s surprise, Chanyeol’s relationship ended a few months later, but his friendship _survived._

“Hey man,” a guy asked, poking him. “You gonna eat this?”

“No,” Chanyeol said, handing him the plate. “It’s yours. I’m on a diet to gain more muscles.”

“Survived” was the exact word, actually. It didn’t thrive or get any better. They never talked about the confession again, not even once. For many years, it felt like it was just an odd dream.

After they graduated, Kyungsoo went to a Film School and Chanyeol decided to pursue a career in International Relations. Kyungsoo found new friends, had different ‘squads’ with actors, producers, and staff and he and Chanyeol were less and less together. He was ‘adopted’ by a couple of older celebrities and became too busy to spend time with his childhood friends.

Chanyeol traveled a lot and started to work out and try new things. He got closer to Sehun and Junmyeon and found new friends too.  
Kyungsoo was still his family’s favorite, though. Once in a while, they all had dinner together, just like they used to do when they were teenagers. When they were alone, listening to songs or watching a movie, Chanyeol felt like nothing had really changed.

“I’m going home,” he warned the girls. “Does anyone need a ride?”

“Not now,” Taeyeon said, checking her watch. “It’s early. Don’t worry about that, kid.”

He smiled, nodding. It was nice to meet a lot of older friends and see how they treated him nicely, like he was just a baby.

Kyungsoo did the same when they met.

“It can’t be a coincidence,” Chanyeol said to himself while putting on his sandals. He was thinking about Kyungsoo a lot.  
Maybe he should call him.

He left the noisy room, and walked slowly, holding his phone. Kyungsoo didn’t pick the phone up often, not to mention the different time zones—the elevator door opened and Chanyeol stared at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t dressed well, of course, but he liked how he looked now, no longer a scrawny teenager. He fixed his cap and walked in, sighing.

He dialed and called as soon as he left the building.

Ringing.

The garage was ample and there was no ceiling over them.

Ringing.

A calm night on another busy week, he thought, listening to his own steps.

Ringing.

_“Hello,”_ Kyungsoo said.

Chanyeol made a happy sound before answering.

“Oh, I can’t believe you picked the phone on my first try. That’s a lucky charm.”

Kyungsoo laughed on the other side. _He he he._

_“Late work,”_ he said. _“How are you? Did something happen?”_

“I’m fine and many things are happening,” Chanyeol pointed. “I was just leaving Stephany-noona’s birthday party and thought about you. People talked—asked.”

_“Oh, yes. I sent her a message earlier. I’m seeing the pictures, it’s a nice party, right? Have fun.”_

“I’m leaving,” Chanyeol said, grabbing his keys. “I’m sleepy. Kind of unfocused, so I won’t stay. How about you, huh? How are you?”

_“I’m fine. I’m healthy,”_ he mumbled. _“I was thinking about calling you, actually.”_

Chanyeol smiled.

“Really? Can’t believe that. For what?”

There was a second of hesitation and it made Chanyeol even more excited. _Big news,_ he thought, opening the door of his car.

_“I’m going to Seoul next week,”_ Kyungsoo announced.

“Oh, great!” Chanyeol was sincere. “That’s great. Do you want me to pick you up when you arrive? For when is your flight scheduled?”

Kyungsoo’s deep breath on the other side was a bit alarming.

_“You don’t have to,”_ he said as expected.

“Yeah, but I want to,” Chanyeol protested, standing alone in the parking lot.

_“Chanyeol, I’m taking someone with me. Actually, two people, so—”_

“Come on,” Chanyeol snorted. “I’m not gonna embarrass you in front of your cool foreign friends.”

_“Not a friend,”_ Kyungsoo said quickly, then went silent for a moment. _“I’m taking my fiancé with me.”_

Chanyeol instinctively pushed his body back.

“Your what?”

_“My fiancé,”_ Kyungsoo repeated. _“And his best friend. That’s also his best man. I’m sorry—I didn’t even have time to talk about it. I want to sit and talk to you and everything because I want you to be my best man.”_

“Your what?” Chanyeol was still processing. “You’re engaged? To a guy?”

_“Well, yes. I’m working on my papers and he already has his—oh, yes. I didn’t talk about him before, did I?”_

“No,” Chanyeol said, a bit offended. “What the hell.”

_“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. There are so many things happening at the same time, I’m feeling like a juggler. I don’t like to handle a lot of things at once, you know. We’re gonna sign the papers this year, probably so I’m taking him with me so our parents can meet. We hoped we could have a small party, my mom, you know how she is.”_

“Are you going to get married?” Chanyeol still needed time.

Kyungsoo laughed, amused.

_“Sorry. We’ll talk about that, I promise. We shou—Baekhyun! Something is burning! What are you doing in the kitchen—”_

Chanyeol heard barking and clicking sounds.

“Kyungsoo?” He asked.

_“Sorry, I’ll call you later.”_

And he hung up.

Chanyeol stood there, one leg inside the car, the other on the floor, unable to do anything but try to digest whatever he just heard. 

One thing was for sure, he wasn’t going home yet.

.

Sehun stared at the plate. There was his omelet, cut in tiny little pieces after he tried to do it tidily and failed. At least it was tasty, he thought, turning around to find something to decorate (hide) the mess. Maybe it didn’t matter if he looked pretty, so he stared at himself in the mirror and fixed his unkempt hair. That’s it, he said and poured juice on the cleanest glass he found and called it a day.

So much to impress – until this moment – a one-night stand.

The guy was deeply asleep and Sehun really didn’t know what to do, except offer food like he was living in some rom-com; maybe he was, he scored a Calvin Klein model, after all. So he grabbed the plate and the juice and sighed deeply. He was going to do that. He was going to romance the hot guy. Why not?

Someone knocked on the door quite violently, interrupting his thoughts. By the sound, it was probably Chanyeol. Sehun ran to the door and opened it before his guest could wake up.

“Shhhh,” Sehun whispered, a finger against his lips.

Chanyeol frowned, confused, then looked at him from head to toe.

“Why are you naked?” He whispered.

“I have a guest,” Sehun whispered back. “What do you want? It’s late.”

“Kyungsoo is getting married,” he said, fire in his eyes. “Did you know?”

“Yes,” Sehun nodded. “He just told me the other day. We can talk about this tomorrow, are you free?”

“No,” Chanyeol said. “Let me in.”

“What?” Sehun looked over his shoulders. “There’s a naked guy sleeping on my bed.”

“And you’re gonna feed him _that_?” He pointed to the omelet and sounded judgmental. “That’s brave, but no. I can cook better. Let me in.”

Sehun opened his mouth to protest, but hm. He did have a point.

“Be quiet, no noises,” Sehun walked to the side, letting Chanyeol in. “He’s more than a ten and you can’t ruin this for me.”

Chanyeol washed his hands in silence, grabbed a pan, and soon, they started whispering to each other.

“That’s fucking insane,” Chanyeol told him. “He just called me and said that like it was nothing. Did you know about his fiancé before?”

Sehun leaned on the wall, watching his hyung choose the eggs and complain.

“I knew he was dating a guy, sharing a place. I didn’t know it was that serious, I thought they were saving money so when he called me I—”

“He called you?” Chanyeol broke the eggs with pure rage. “He doesn’t even answer when I call him.”

“He asked me to help with the party,” Sehun shrugged. “That’s when I knew.”

“You?” Chanyeol was getting more and more offended, cutting carrots loudly, so Sehun shushed him again. “Why? I could do that. I’m great at planning events.”

“Stop this nonsense,” Sehun sighed. “You and Kyungsoo have very different tastes. I know Kyungsoo would like something more classic and you would go crazy.”  
“Yeah? Like what?”

The eggs were slowly frying.

“Who would you choose to sing at his party?” Sehun raised one eyebrow.

“Me,” Chanyeol pointed at himself with the spatula.

“I knew it. I got Kim Jongdae to sing at the wedding.”

“Kim Jongdae?” Chanyeol said a bit louder. Then, he covered his own mouth in shock. “Ok. You won this round.”

“This is not a competition, why do you turn everything into a competition,” Sehun rolled his eyes and pulled a chair. “Also, why are you so mad. That’s how Kyungsoo is. He hid the fact that he had a second dog, he didn’t tell anyone when he was enlisting and he never tells us about what he’s doing.”

Chanyeol was rolling the omelet and he looked genuinely hurt.

“That’s different,” he said. “Getting married is the most public event of all. And, well, why did he never tell me about his fiancé, then? I consider him my best friend.”  
Sehun coughed.

“You too,” he added quickly.

Sehun was quiet for a moment, finding the right words to say.

“Well, it’s a bit weird, don’t you think so?”

“Weird?”

“Yes, it wouldn’t be weird for him to tell you about it,” Sehun gulped. “He doesn’t share his love life with you because for a long time... _you_ were his love life.”

Chanyeol stopped moving the spatula for one second, as expected, eyes distant as he was probably remembering bad times. 

Sehun knew very well that it was a sensitive subject between them. For him, an outsider, it was pretty obvious as well. He watched, since he was a teenager, those two growing up.

“That doesn’t mean he can’t tell me something like that,” Chanyeol whispered, almost pouting. “I would be happy for him. I wanted him to find someone, you know.”  
“You don’t look happy now,” Sehun pointed.

“I don’t know how to react,” Chanyeol confessed. “It’s too sudden.”

“It’s not, we’re not that young, I mean, I _am_ , not you,” Sehun sat down and cracked his neck. “And Kyungsoo is a good man. He’s serious and he really likes this guy, so… I wasn’t really surprised, to be honest.”

“I didn’t even know he was dating, that’s my point,” Chanyeol wiped his forehead. “He just called me now and was like, oh I want you to be my best man… I don’t even know the name of his groom, I mean, bride— Is Kyungsoo the groom or the bride?”

Sehun stared at him, slightly disgusted.

“That’s exactly why he doesn’t tell you things.”

“Ah, come on, don’t mock me, I—just want to know the right term,” his cheeks were a bit red, which made Sehun forgive him. “I’ve never been to a gay wedding before.”

“He’s the groom. There are two grooms,” Sehun explained slowly. “I thought you were asking about sexual positions and I’m sure we were already traumatized from that basketball dude he dated once.”

Chanyeol was now completely red and Sehun tried to contain a snort but failed.

“That was horrifying,” the poor man said, holding the spatula like a shield. “The guy said he left the bed limping. He was mocking us, wasn’t he?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been there,” Sehun said, still giggling. “See, that’s why he doesn’t tell you shit. We like to share and you act too straight to deal with our talk. What if Kyungsoo once banged a guy that hard? They looked happy together. I share even worse things with him.”

“You share worse things with me,” Chanyeol accused. “But well, I’m happy he wants me as his best man but I feel like a fraud. I always thought I would be a best friend with your partners as well. And now, I’m the last to know.”

Sehun pressed his own eyes and sighed.

“Listen. Chanyeol—You can’t expect— You can pretend nothing happened between you two but we know the reason why Kyungsoo keeps us away is that he wanted to move on and he did… you shouldn’t take this personally. You’re best friends, yes, but he was in love with you his whole life. Of course, he wouldn’t talk to you about it now that he loves someone else.”

Chanyeol started to cut the omelet, head down. He felt guilty, Sehun knew. Actually, Sehun probably knew more than anyone. He knew that Kyungsoo was in love when they were kids, he knew Chanyeol was too naive to notice it, and even if no one ever told him what really happened that day, he knew exactly that the confession went wrong and the rejection wasn’t well handled.

During the long month when his best friends didn’t talk to each other, Sehun had to find a way to give emotional support to both without mentioning anything. He was the one watching how Kyungsoo’s eyes weren’t shining anymore or how Chanyeol kept zooming out. Sehun had to be the mature friend who understands what was not being said.

“That’s not your fault,” he was back at sixteen, holding Chanyeol’s books while his best friend was anxious about walking in the school and bumping into Kyungsoo.

“That’s not true,” Chanyeol mumbled.

“You can’t beat yourself up for being dumb a decade ago,” Sehun said. “It’s over, he’s fine. He’s literally getting married.”

The dish was looking a million times better. Chanyeol cooked a red sauce and poured it like a professional, now that he was oddly quiet.

“Great, you did a good job,” Sehun tapped his back. “Now, leave. I’ll romance this man and take him as my date to Kyungsoo’s wedding.”

Chanyeol scratched his neck.

“I need a date,” he said. “Hm. Should I? Bring a date?”

Sehun held his arms and shook him.

“Listen, if you’re going to overthink this shit, then do it the right way. Become best friends with Kyungsoo’s fiancé and then, exorcise this guilt.”

Chanyeol was suddenly serious.

“What if I don’t like him?”

“Pretend to like, I guess. Why wouldn’t you like him? Kyungsoo likes him and he’s the best at judging people out of us three.”

“What if he’s not good for Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol frowned. “What if there’s a reason why Kyungsoo didn’t want us to know him? I mean, we know Kyungsoo better than this guy. We know Kyungsoo since he was a kid.”

Sehun gaped.

“Stop,” he begged.

There was a loud cracking sound coming from Sehun’s room.

“Fuck,” Sehun cursed. “He’s waking up, get the fuck out!”

He pushed Chanyeol to the door, but before he kicked his friend out, he made sure to whisper.

“This is not a competition, ok? There’s nothing to win.”

He couldn’t see Chanyeol’s face before he slammed the door. The one and only Zhang Yixing, number five on the Forbes’ Most Influential Celebrities, walked out of his room, wearing a Calvin Klein underwear – they hired him for a reason – and nothing else.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “I heard something.”

“Eggs cracking,” Sehun said quickly. “I thought you were hungry, so I cooked you something. Nothing much.”

“Oh,” he smiled, and the cutest dimple suddenly appeared. “Is that for me?”

“Yes,” Sehun passed his fingers through his head. “So, hm. Do you like weddings?”

.

Chanyeol opened the beer bottle with his teeth, spinning on his chair. He faced the computer, the one who was attached to a few electronic tools – for gaming, composing, and recording – and stretched his arms, getting ready for action.

He could play games or start working on… many things. Chanyeol had a few careers, to be honest, and he wasn’t very disciplined. But he wasn’t going to do it that night, oh no, he had a mission instead. He was going to search on Kyungsoo’s private Instagram – that he used just like a regular Instagram, probably failing to grasp the concept – and find this mysterious fiancé.

Since Kyungsoo’s instagram had only pictures of his dogs and random dishes he ate somewhere, Chanyeol went straight to his followers. He was an intuitive man and he certainly knew by face and name the majority of Kyungsoo’s friends, of course. He didn’t even flinch before clicking in the guy with a fun drawing of a candy, named @bebrave100.

**bbh** _call it what you want_

Chanyeol almost dropped his beer.

He couldn’t believe when the first pic on the guy’s Instagram was Kyungsoo – Chanyeol had been trying to take selfies with Kyungsoo for years and he always covered his face or looked to the other side.

“It’s him,” Chanyeol said, narrowing his eyes.

The guy was… okay. He had an okay face – really good skin – and he seemed friendly. He was kind of skinny and he had a thing for food, based on the places he was tagged on, mostly restaurants. He had a couple of pictures singing in a studio, playing the piano, and a couple of movie posters where his name was included as a composer.

Chanyeol didn’t like that. He kept scrolling and drinking, analyzing each picture as if they could tell him anything when his phone rang.

“Hey,” he said, not even checking the name.

_“Hey,”_ he heard Junmyeon’s voice. _“Don’t do it.”_

Chanyeol licked his lips, confused.

“Do… what?”

_“I know you’re mad at Kyungsoo for not telling you before but he also told me about the wedding this week. Sehun told me you’re freaking out but I beg you, don’t hyperfixate on this, okay? I heard he asked you to be the best man, so think about how you can help them instead.”_

“I’m not hyperfixating on anything, I’m cool, I’m always cool,” Chanyeol lied, clicking on @bebrave100’s stories. The guy had a picture with a friend in a gym – a very attractive friend that was bigger and taller than him – and wrote in funny letters and emoticons “My best² (friend and man) lost the bet today… all those muscles and jonginnie couldn’t run for more than an hour)”.

So it was pretty public.

_“Chanyeol, I’m serious. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of.”_

“Don’t you army guys have to sleep at this time? You’re gonna shoot the wrong guy tomorrow.”

_“I work sitting on a desk, Chanyeol. I’m an almost blind man doing public service. One of these days, they’ll put me in the streets and I’ll find you and kick your ass. Don’t obsess over this, okay? I know Kyungsoo is a special person and you two have a past—"_

“We have never dated!” Chanyeol said, offended. He had to clarify this a hundred times before.

_“I know, this is the whole problem, actually. I know you’re not ready to see Kyungsoo settling down, but it’s a part of adult life, you know. Our first love grows up and decides not to marry us and that’s fine. Mine now is a proud lesbian woman and she’s taken, and I’m happy for her. I only cry once in a while.”_

“I never had feelings for Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol was confused. He thought Junmyeon knew, even if he wasn’t around anymore when it all happened, too busy in college.

_“Ah, okay. So we’re still in the denial phase. I thought you let it go when you start dating guys as well, but I don’t have time for this, I can get in trouble. So, huh, Sehun asked me to give you wise advice and here I am: let it go! It’s now time to celebrate a fresh new start… as a best man.”_

“Thanks,” Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “I’m enlightened by your words, hyung.”

_“Great, see you at the wedding, I guess. I’m still negotiating with my superiors. You’ll be alright. Good night!”_

“Good night,” Chanyeol threw the phone on the couch and left his chair to throw the bottle away. He grabbed another beer and threw himself on the couch, thinking about how odd that night went. He just thought about Kyungsoo and then found out about his fiancé and wedding, like somehow, he knew something was about to happen.

He sipped his beer, thinking.

He really found out that he was into guys because of Kyungsoo— very indirectly. Chanyeol did find dudes hot and he thought that everybody felt that way. His sister called herself straight, but complimented a lot of women, including calling them hot and attractive, so Chanyeol thought that he was just the same.

Chanyeol and Sehun were invited to watch a basketball game, a tournament between colleges. One of those teams was from Kyungsoo’s college, but they didn’t expect Kyungsoo to come since the film major wasn’t into sports (unless it was sports in anime). They were actually cheering for the other team since they were friends with a couple of players, so they were surprised to find Kyungsoo on the other side, sitting on the bleachers, getting cozy with a player.

“So,” Sehun said, nodding. “That’s Kyungsoo’s boyfriend.”

“Kyungsoo has a boyfriend?!” Chanyeol screamed.

(Looking in retrospect, he really was always the last to know.)

After the game, Sehun had the brilliant idea to talk to the guy while Kyungsoo was busy on his phone. He thought that Kyungsoo would be embarrassed if they approached the couple and Sehun just really wanted to introduce himself as a friend.

The dude was friendly. He apologized for his team’s loss, since they lost.

“That’s okay, it happens,” Chanyeol said, but if the positions were inverted, he would have been punching walls.

“That’s fine, I’m not in my best shape as well,” he giggled. “Your friend left me limping last night. No complaints, though.”

Sehun and Chanyeol probably had the same expression – popping their eyes out. But who knows? Maybe, for the only and one time in their lives, they may have been non-reactive about a thing.

Chanyeol couldn’t stare at Kyungsoo’s eyes for the rest of the night. He was shocked… and strangely curious about the dynamics of gay sex. It was hard to imagine his little cute friend, that he always pictured as gentle and caring, with his low voice and calming ways, as the wild stallion that was described to him. It really disturbed him for a couple of days and he thought about it constantly since then.

A few months later, at his first official college party, a hot guy hit on him. Chanyeol asked himself, _why not?_ He knew very little about it and was very curious, so it sounded like an adventure.

The rest was history.

So, now that he was sitting on his couch, in his apartment surrounded by windows, posters, boxes, and electronic tools, again he was disturbed. Did he have feelings for Kyungsoo when they were teenagers? No. If he had, then they would have dated. Chanyeol saw him as a brother, even if he knew that Kyungsoo liked him. But, he nodded to himself, moving his lips, he did like Kyungsoo more than most people. More than people that he dated.

He stared at the pictures on the wall. There was one of Kyungsoo and him, under the Sakuras, when they traveled to Japan for a couple of days after graduating college.

Maybe he did have feelings for Kyungsoo when they were younger. Kissing and dating were not what he wanted but he really wanted Kyungsoo’s attention and company all for himself. It could have been a crush, too. An innocent kind of crush.

Chanyeol sipped his beer again.

He shouldn’t have been mad at Kyungsoo about the late announcement. Sehun was right, Kyungsoo always kept Chanyeol a bit far after the whole confession thing and he was right to do so, he had to move on and protect himself. Yet Chanyeol was hurt, like he had been this whole time while watching how Kyungsoo’s plans and new friends were stealing him away. The older friends, new squads, the overseas career, and now, a fiancé.

He felt like an outsider—not even the ‘best man’ title was cheering him up. He didn’t feel like a best man, just another friend, if much.

He finished his beer and put the bottle on the floor. Toben, his dog, was at his mom’s and he was allowed to be a bit messy.

Chanyeol lay down and stared at the ceiling.

He was going to listen to Junmyeon and let it go. A new chapter was starting and he was ready to be there when Kyungsoo needed him; maybe now that he was chosen as the best man, he could finally get closer again, rekindle his friendship from the start.


	2. I guess you never know, never know

Kyungsoo opened his eyes when the flight attendant announced the landing. He had a light sleep and somehow, he had this ability to be aware of his surroundings even when he was sleeping. He looked around and saw everything, which meant that he fell asleep with his glasses on. Baekhyun rubbed his face on Kyungsoo’s shoulder as if he noticed something but refused to wake up. Kyungsoo checked his watch, they were early—the flight, he meant.

They – Baekhyun and Kyungsoo – were a bit late for this trip. They scheduled it the previous year, when Baekhyun was asking for his permanent visa and Kyungsoo was still getting used to another country; they were dating for a couple of months and then, they started to get jobs and things to do, one things after the other, and none of them were in a hurry. That was what Kyungsoo thought, until they decided to go out for drinks and Baekhyun, a known lightweight, got home wasted and confessed that he had bought Kyungsoo a ring and was getting ready to propose.

He didn’t remember anything a day after, so Kyungsoo bought him a ring and proposed first.

Kyungsoo wanted to tell everyone in person. In an ideal world, he would cook dinner for his friends and family, introduce Baekhyun and then announce their wedding date and place. Real life was messier than his plans and he didn’t have enough money to fly all his overseas friends to Korea to make a grand event. Wedding parties were incredibly expensive and he wasn’t going to spend that much money for a party – after all, they couldn’t even sign the papers back home.

Baekhyun’s parents offered some money and a place. Kyungsoo’s job was to find someone skilled enough to plan it and to make it happen – neither he nor Baekhyun was good at this. He was in the middle of a screenwriting, trying to answer and submit his movies to a few festivals, calculating buckets and buckets and now he had to plan a wedding as soon as possible (before they got so busy that they would have no time left).

And there he was, landing back home with his fiancé and his—

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo touched his face gently. “Wake up. Where is Jongin?”

“Sleeping,” Baekhyun said without even opening his eyes.

Kyungsoo wanted to look back, so he grabbed a tiny mirror and positioned it so he could see the corner seats behind them. Jongin was sleeping with his face on the chair in front of him, hugging the huge emotional support bear he brought.

“Is he okay?”

“I think he took some pills and blanked out,” Baekhyun yawned. “Why?”

“We’re landing,” Kyungsoo said dryly. “He’ll need to walk in a few minutes.”

Baekhyun opened his eyes.

“We have a problem, then.”

“Do we…?” Kyungsoo was slightly worried.

“I’m kidding! I know how to wake him up, don’t worry,” Baekhyun stretched his legs. “But he’ll be sleepy for the rest of the day. Are your friends already here?”

Kyungsoo was waiting for the plane to stop to get his phone. Knowing Chanyeol and Sehun pretty well, he knew they were probably at the airport, fighting over something. Chanyeol always took his function as the driver very seriously and Sehun is always a bit late, but not with Kyungsoo’s schedules.

He missed his friends. He wished he was around to spend time with them like they used to. Each year, Kyungsoo got busier and felt older compared to them, who faced life in a much more relaxed and fun way. And even when he was back, he was giving them responsibilities – Kyungsoo felt guilty for that. He wished he could have been more carefree but he couldn’t change himself or his life at this point.

Baekhyun pressed his nose against Kyungsoo’s cheek.

“What are you worrying about?” He asked, whispering.

“My friends,” Kyungsoo confessed. If it had been any other person asking, he would’ve lied. It’s okay, just zooming out. But Baekhyun had a way to talk to him, a way to convince him to talk, to calm him down.

It really was no secret that Kyungsoo adored him. There would be no other reason why he would commit to a circus like a wedding party, something that Kyungsoo, being comfortable with his identity but discreetly gay, didn’t think he would have.

“Are you afraid that they’ll fall in love with me?” Baekhyun winked. He liked to make jokes, despite being as serious as Kyungsoo most times.

“I’m just worried that I’m giving them work to do,” Kyungsoo gulped. He didn’t want to be a burden, nor to cause any problems.

“That’s not _work,_ Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun was suddenly serious. “That’s an honor.

Everyone dreams about being a part of their friend’s wedding planning and party. They’re blessed to have you as a friend and I bet they’re thrilled to be a part of this.”

Kyungsoo nodded slowly.

“Hey, don’t be like that,” Baekhyun grabbed his chin. “You’re going to see your family, your dogs, your friends, we’re gonna have fun. This is a good thing, right? Don’t make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not,” Kyungsoo said quickly. “It’s not. You’re right.”

They were finally allowed to leave their places and get their bags. Baekhyun left to wake Jongin up and Kyungsoo checked his phone. Chanyeol sent many messages as always and even a selfie with Sehun to help Kyungsoo find them in the crowd.

Kyungsoo smiled. Chanyeol was so dedicated to anything. He was so passionate about little things, giving his best – Kyungsoo truly missed him.

He pulled the bags and looked back to see Baekhyun shaking Jongin like he was a smoothie.

Kyungsoo had never talked about… the Chanyeol problem. He and Baekhyun avoided talking about past relationships mostly because both were very jealous and tended to be possessive.

It worked fine with exes, but Chanyeol wasn’t an ex. He was Kyungsoo’s closest friend—and his first love. He didn’t know how to talk about it because they never did. For a long time, it hurt too much, and then, when it didn’t hurt anymore, it was awkward. He spent years being the perfect boyfriend for Chanyeol despite knowing that it would never happen and it never did. End of story.

“Baekhyun,” he called. “Do you need help?”

Jongin had only one eye open. Kyungsoo wanted to laugh but he was too empathetic. At least his friends didn’t have to leave everything to help with the wedding. To make things worse, Jongin was barely recovering from a painful break-up when Baekhyun asked him to be the best man, which, Kyungsoo knew, was a hard task to do while being heartbroken.

“We’ll need coffee,” Baekhyun said, checking how people were leaving the plane and they hadn’t even moved yet.

“I hate coffee,” Jongin mumbled.

“Good, he’s half-alive,” Baekhyun sighed. “Get his bag too, I’ll carry it, baby.”

Kyungsoo ended up carrying everyone’s bags and Baekhyun was walking and hugging Jongin, in case he fell (he looked a little drunk). Kyungsoo wanted to laugh as soon as they reached the gates: Chanyeol and Sehun were the easiest people to spot, both towering over the others, wearing colorful clothes and having the hair dyed like celebrities.

“Here they are,” Kyungsoo pointed when he could lift his arm, lifting the bags. “Those two.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun turned to the side, holding Jongin firmly by the waist. “Well, holy shit.”

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, walking slowly.

“They’re hot,” Baekhyun frowned. “Why are your friends somewhat a GQ cover material?”

“Hey,” Jongin protested, pouting, his head swinging while they walked.

“Don’t get me wrong, of course, you’re hot too,” Baekhyun tapped his friend’s arm. “Because I am the type of guy to have hot friends. Kyungsoo looks like he can only have older and ugly nerds as a squad. He’s too cute for the jocks.”

“They’re nerds,” Kyungsoo explained, used to Baekhyun’s nonsense rantings.

Chanyeol and Sehun finally spotted them and Kyungsoo was suddenly nervous, watching his two worlds collide.

Because of Kyungsoo’s tendency to be private, his new friends knew very little about his life in his home country and vice versa. Watching how Chanyeol and Sehun were like, their crazy and creative routine, their expensive brand clothing and loud ways, he got why Baekhyun was surprised. 

Kyungsoo was a film director, after all, and he was always surrounded by sponsors, cinephiles, actors and crew; his entire overseas life was about work and he was taken very seriously. Baekhyun and Jongin were also two people who worked their asses off, were homebodies and into a more domestic routine.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol screamed, waving and smiling. Kyungsoo smiled back.

“Why are you carrying so many bags?” Sehun frowned, pulling one of them. “You’re engulfed by those things.”

They stopped, facing each other.

“It’s been a long time,” Kyungsoo said.

“Your hair… You’ll never let it grow again, don’t you? Enough with the undercuts,” Chanyeol laughed, slapping Kyungsoo’s arm. “You look skinnier, aren’t you eating well?”

“Too much work,” Kyungsoo explained. “You have new tattoos.”

Chanyeol caressed his own tattooed skin, happy.

“New babies. Sehun got one too, but it’s hidden.”

“I can show you later,” Sehun whispered.

Baekhyun stopped behind Kyungsoo, analyzing. Jongin was quiet and Kyungsoo expected that; he was very shy around strangers and at that moment, not able to be social - and of course Sehun and Chanyeol had noticed that. 

“Ah, boys,” he pointed. “That’s Baekhyun and… Jongin. He’s fine, I swear.”

“Just a little groggy,” Jongin waved shyly.

“Nice to meet you,” Chanyeol said, but he was shy too, Kyungsoo knew. “I’m Park Chanyeol, that’s Sehunnie.”

Baekhyun smiled slowly.

“So you’re Kyungsoo’s best friends, huh? I feel like I missed a big chapter of my fiancé’s life,” he said in a friendly tone. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Byun Baekhyun. Hope we have time to spend together.”

Kyungsoo was relieved. Baekhyun’s social skills were perfect as always. He was charming and always knew what to say, even in awkward situations.

“Give me one of those bags,” Chanyeol said, staring at Kyungsoo. “Let’s leave this place. You guys must be tired.”

It was a bit awkward at first, Kyungsoo realized. The way they only spoke when they had to do something, putting the bags on the car, helping Jongin to sit comfortably, giving directions. Sehun was a quiet person and Baekhyun was exhausted, but Chanyeol being silent like that was a red flag. Kyungsoo didn’t know how to break the ice.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to my parents?” Baekhyun whispered, blinking.

“No,” Kyungsoo said firmly. “It’s better if we all go to our respective homes today. There’s a dinner scheduled for a reason.” 

“But it’s outside,” he mumbled. “How can you skip my mother’s food?”

“There will be time,” Kyungsoo tapped his thigh.

“What if I run away to our house after they fall asleep,” Baekhyun whispered, holding Kyungsoo’s hand.

Kyungsoo side eyed him. “Behave.”

Surprisingly, he did behave. He even helped Chanyeol to guide Jongin home.

“You’re so strong,” Jongin said. “Do you work out?”

Chanyeol, who was trying to make him walk, stopped, confused.

“He flirts with people when he’s sleepy,” Baekhyun explained and left the car to help them.

“Is he drugged?” Sehun turned back to stare at Kyungsoo.

“Too many sleeping pills,” Kyungsoo said. “His last relationship ended up in a flight, he didn’t want to cry all the way here. Is Chanyeol mad at me?”

Sehun glanced at the three men outside and pouted as if he was thinking about something. His hair was longer, pushed back and he looked a lot older than the last time Kyungsoo saw him in person.

“He’s not comfortable because he didn’t know about your fiancé. You know Chanyeol doesn’t like to be excluded.”

“Ah,” Kyungsoo nodded. “So that’s it.”

“You should ask them to spend time together.”

“Chanyeol and Baekhyun?”

“Yes.”

“It could be nice. They are both very energetic. Maybe it’ll be nice for them to get to know each other.”

Sehun checked him out for a second.

“Why are you getting married?”

Outside, Jongin’s dogs escaped as soon as his mother opened the door. It was loud.

“Because I want to,” Kyungsoo said.

Sehun just stared, as if he was waiting for the rest of the answer. Chanyeol grabbed a dog and was carrying it back inside. Kyungsoo missed his own dogs.

“I guess I’m getting older and I want to settle down. I found the perfect person to do so.”

“So you’re sure you love this guy?”

Kyungsoo looked at him, frowning. “Yes. Of course.”

“Just checking.” Sehun turned back, facing the window, instead.

The boys went back to the car and Kyungsoo was still digesting that question. They drove Baekhyun home and Kyungsoo stared anxiously at Baekhyun’s condo. He had never met his fiancé’s parents in person despite having a good impression of them based on what Baekhyun told him.

“Call me later,” Baekhyun said, throwing his bag over his shoulders. “Come here.”

He wanted a kiss. Kyungsoo looked at Sehun and Chanyeol, who were staring at them with necks turned and big eyes.

“Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun frowned.

Kyungsoo sighed and moved to give him a little peck in the lips before Baekhyun left. As soon as he entered the house, Chanyeol and Sehun made a very familiar noise, an old mockery song.

“You’re not sixteen anymore,” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes back. “Take me home and stop annoying me.”

They took him home but the two kept giggling. Kyungsoo missed that – suddenly, it wasn’t awkward anymore. Chanyeol started telling him about the news and Sehun had little spurts of memory, sharing gossip. 

Chanyeol parked, so they could talk to Kyungsoo’s family properly. They were all family, after all. Kyungsoo hugged his parents and brother, carried the dogs around, letting them lick his mouth. The house had never changed much, despite the fact that he and his brother had earned enough to give it a little upgrade. His parents were still the same humble people that didn’t ask for much.

They insisted on having Kyungsoo’s friends for dinner and Kyungsoo gladly agreed, so they could avoid the wedding talk for a while. His parents asked about easy, calm subjects and his friends told them a few anecdotes.

Time flew because they were having fun.

“They could sleep here,” His mother suggested.

“Sorry, mom,” Chanyeol said, just to annoy Kyungsoo. “We have to go. Sehun and I will have a long day tomorrow.”

“Also, they’re too big,” Kyungsoo said dryly. “They don’t fit the couch anymore.”

“Someone had to get tall since you didn’t, right?” Chanyeol winked and Kyungsoo kicked his ankle as a retaliation.

“Let me drive,” Sehun took the keys and started running, predicting that Chanyeol would fight him.

“You!” Chanyeol screamed, angry, walking out. “Come back!” 

Kyungsoo smiled, following them. Chanyeol stopped at the garden and shook his head. It was a bit chilly outside, but the sky was clear, now that Kyungsoo was looking up to see his face.

“Hey,” he called his best friend.

“Huh?” Chanyeol turned back to him, blinking.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course.”

Kyungsoo looked around, thinking quietly, then said.

“If you have the time, could you help Baekhyun with the party? He’ll need an extra hand.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol gulped.

“I’m not… great at those things so he’s working hard. He even chose my suit,” Kyungsoo said. “I promised I would help at my brother’s restaurant and—I still have work to do.”

“That’s fine,” he said, looking down. “That’s my best man’s duties, after all.”

“If it’s too much, you can say it.”

“It’s not,” Chanyeol smiled. “I’m just glad that—”

He didn’t finish, his face moving like he was talking to himself first.

“Sometimes you kinda forget me,” he pouted, probably involuntarily. “I’m happy you chose me as your best man. At this point, I thought you already had someone else to call your best friend.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t happy to hear that.

“That’s impossible. You’ll always be my best friend, Chanyeol. Even if I made new close friends, they’ll never share life with me as we’ve done.”

Chanyeol, as expected, got a little emotional, but at least he smiled.

“You’ll always be my best friend too,” he mumbled. “I've been thinking about you a lot these days. I really missed you here, you know? I wished you could come back.”

Kyungsoo didn’t and that was the cruel part. Leaving made wonders for him – he could finally breathe and be himself, away from traumas, pain, hiding, overthinking, and lack of opportunities. He loved his country, his town, his family and friends, but to live the way he wanted, he had to leave them.

“I’ll be here when you need me,” Kyungsoo promised.

“But I always need you,” Chanyeol pouted again, saying it way too fast. He realized how he had sounded and he retreated for a moment, as if Kyungsoo would judge him for his over sentimental statement.

“You don’t,” Kyungsoo said, a simple retort. It was the truth, of course, but he just said to cut the conversation’s cheesy tone.

“I do,” Chanyeol said, emphasizing the words. “I miss you a lot more than you miss me. It’s like when we were teenagers and you liked to ignore me when I was calling you, but now there’s a thousand miles between us.”

It was sincere. Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting that deep conversation so soon and he didn’t know how to respond.

He didn’t have to. Sehun honked, all the way from the other side of the street. Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on his, but he turned back and left without a word. Kyungsoo didn’t move, watching them leave like he had seen a thousand times before. Yet there was something odd about that day.

His phone vibrated on his pocket. Kyungsoo sighed, remembering that he should’ve called his fiancé and he checked the name even if he knew who it was.

“Hey,” he said, still standing in the garden. “Sorry.”

_“Don’t apologize,”_ Baekhyun was patient. _“How was it?”_

“No wedding talk, the boys stayed for dinner.”

_“Oh, I see. Maybe it’s better that way, so we can talk together. On Saturday, before the dinner, I’ll talk to that buffet lady that my mom recommended, wanna come with me?”_

“I’ll be at the restaurant. My brother asked for help,” Kyungsoo finally decided to go back inside. The street was so silent compared to the one he currently lived.

_“Ok. That’s fine… guess we’ll have to find another moment to rehearse the talk, then.”_

Kyungsoo smiled.

“You should take the boys with you,” he remembered that. “Sehun is helping us, anyway.”

_“That’s fine,”_ Baekhyun yawned. _“Give them my number.”_

“I will. Good night, sleep tight.”

_“Good night, babe. I love you.”_

.

  
Baekhyun had to be all smiles during lunch and he did it marvelously, remembering those acting classes that he and Kyungsoo had in the summer, just for fun. He had a whole new character for the upcoming dinner, the-chill-Baekhyun, a version of himself that did not care at all that he was now some sort of an animal exposed in a zoo; the rebel, alternative child who left the country to have a shocking gay and artistic (at this point, probably synonyms) life. They were looking at him like he was a celebrity and it was not good – they were expecting him to be into drugs, parties, and to have a couple of stars’ numbers on his phone.

Again, that was still a level of acceptance, in a way. He wasn’t ungrateful, so he put a smile on his face and endured the ignorant remarks while he held on his phone for his life, waiting for Jongin to come save him.

“I have to talk to the buffet lady,” he explained to his parents as soon as he noticed his friend’s name on the screen. “Kyungsoo can’t go, he’s busy making dinner. Do you need any help to get there?”

It was a rhetoric question, of course. He knew pretty well that his family had been eating at his future-brother-in-law’s restaurant since Baekhyun told them the news, so, as expected, they said no.

Baekhyun greeted everyone, one by one, and ran down the stairs, holding his bag (too feminine, someone whispered and he heard) against his belly. He got on Jongin’s car (his sister’s) and let out a breath.

“My face hurts from smiling,” he confessed.

“Family meetings,” Jongin said empathetically, chewing a gun. He was a pretty fashionable guy, except in his lazy days, when he just liked big sweaters, bear accessories and one of his many black Converses. Baekhyun, next to him, with grown-man-shoes and a suit jacket, felt a hundred years old.

“Damn,” he realized. “I’m old.”

“Yeah,” Jongin turned the engine on. “Of course, you are. You’re getting married and everything.”

“Shut up,” he pouted. “We’re late already, where were you?”

“With my family, you’re not the only one with obligations,” Jongin yawned. “Don’t let me take sleeping pills ever again. Are we picking Kyungsoo up?”

“No, go straight to the address I gave you,” Baekhyun stretched his neck. “Today, we’ll have to deal with his friends.”

Jongin side-eyed him.

“Well, that’s fine. Right? Why are you bothered? I’m the one who hit on the guy when I was drugged,” he smiled but he felt a bit nervous. “I will apologize. Which one was it again? The guy who looks like a softcore porn model or the one who looks like a hardcore porn model?”

“The hardcore one,” Baekhyun checked his phone. “I could tell you why I’m bothered, but you have to promise me you won’t mock me.”

“Why would I mock you?”

“Because I think Kyungsoo used to have a crush on one of them.”

Jongin was making a slow curve and he glanced at Baekhyun for a second.

_“A crush.”_

“A crush.”

_“On one of them.”_

“On one of them.”

“I’m not gonna mock you,” he said carefully, eyes on the road. “But maybe, maybe, it’s just you being irrationally jealous as you do… pretty much… all the time?”

“I’m not irrationally jealous—”

“Yes, you are. Of everyone, by the way. Remember when I said I had another best friend and you stopped talking to me for a week?”

“I’m not denying that I’m jealous,” Baekhyun said defensively. “I’m just saying that it’s not irrational. There’s logic. Facts. Investigation.”

“Oh, my god. You went full true crime on them?”

“Not completely,” Baekhyun pointed. “I just noticed the clues. The hints.”

“Hmm,” Jongin checked the app. “You have five minutes until we arrive.”

They were like magic words; Baekhyun turned to him, excited to share.

“Kyungsoo told me once that he fell in love when he was a teenager,” he counted on his fingers.

“And that he did have many friends but Chanyeol and Sehun were the closest ones. When we had sex for the first time, he confessed it was the first time he had sex with someone that he loved which meant that it wasn’t one of his exes, but, it had to be someone close to him because Kyungsoo is not the type to have unattainable crushes, he’s very practical. He would not fall in love with an illusion, but with someone he knew well.”

“Okay, breathe,” Jongin advised. “Wasn’t it a crush? I’m lost.”

“That’s just a way to say it,” Baekhyun shrugged. “It was not a real love, because I’m his true love, so that’s that.”

Jongin made a painful expression.

“That was so cheesy and you know I love cheesy lines but—you’re writing a whole Jane Austen novel. I definitely would read, but yeah… are you okay?”

“Maybe I’m just jealous,” Baekhyun agreed. “I don’t know. It’s… tiring to be in love with someone like him, sometimes. I have to annoy him so he can talk.”

“I thought you guys had an agreement, like a pact of silence or so.”

“Let’s just forget it, it’s in the past,” Baekhyun said, staring at his own reflection in the rear view mirror. “I have to become friends with them and find out why they’re sooo interesting.”

“You’re annoyed.”

“I had a long day and it’s just starting.”

“Put the smile back on,” Jongin said, getting ready to park. “It’s here.”

Baekhyun really thought that he and Jongin would be the late ones, but there was no sign of anyone around. He and Jongin walked to the small place that sold the churro cakes that Kyungsoo loved so much.

“Should we wait for them?” Jongin wondered.

“No time,” Baekhyun said, opening the door. “I still have a dinner to attend—”

Baekhyun gaped when he saw the two men inside. It was a pleasant surprise that they had arrived, of course, but there was something odd on the way they were sitting on a cute pink table with two cute mugs. Not only does it look like they were playing house due to the fact they were big and dressed like rappers or something, but there was also cake in the table as well.

“Oh, yes,” Jongin smiled, seeing the food first.

“Oh, they arrived,” Chanyeol said in a suspiciously loud tone. Sehun gestured to them to come to the table, pointing at the two empty chairs.

“We’re not staying,” Baekhyun frowned, confused. “I’m not hungry.”

“I heard that poor Kyungsoo couldn’t come,” Chanyeol continued to speak loud and clear, so the people inside could hear them. “It’s gonna be hard to choose since he’s not here.”

Baekhyun and Jongin shared a worried glance.

“Come,” Sehun whispered. “They’re giving us free slices since we’re choosing a wedding cake.”

Baekhyun sat at the table because they were drawing too much attention. Jongin put his eyes on the cake and he was hypnotized for a second. 

“Isn’t that wrong?” He whispered suddenly, putting Baekhyun’s bag on his lap. “This is their business.”

“They sell cakes in dollars, a three-zero number, they’ll not get bankrupt by giving away free slices,” Chanyeol whispered angrily, turning to them. “How the fuck did you convince Kyungsoo to spend this money on a cake? I can’t make him buy jeans over a hundred dollars.”

“It’s a surprise,” Baekhyun explained simply, not amused. “I, with my money, will buy him his favorite cake, the choco mint one.”

“You’re not really paying for the cake but for the decoration,” Jongin explained naively. “The photographer was very expensive as well. It’s just how those things are.”

“We don’t have time for trying out flavors,” Baekhyun said. “My family will meet Kyungsoo tonight, so...”

They went silent for a moment, probably because it felt appropriate. Sehun raised his eyebrows and nodded and Chanyeol was serious, suddenly.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol said. “I thought we could spend some time together. Free cake is always nice. I heard you’re also a food enthusiast…” 

Jongin stared at Baekhyun, quiet and hopeful. Baekhyun opened his mouth, then closed it, gulping.

“Hello,” a waitress approached them, taking a little device from the pocket of her cute pink apron. “Which one do you want to try next?”

All eyes were on Baekhyun, waiting. He stared at the cakes around, turned to the lady and then smiled brightly. 

“Oh, I came for my wedding cake—I knew exactly which one. The one with chocolate,” he said, faking a naive tone.

“We have many cakes with chocolate,” she said nicely. “Maybe it was strawberry and chocolate?”

“I’m not sure,” he pouted, shrugging.

“I… I will bring a few with chocolate for you,” she smiled, a bit red. “Do you guys need more coffee?”

“Yes,” they said quickly and as soon as she left the room, Jongin slapped his best friend’s leg.

Chanyeol gave him a smile of approval.

“So,” Sehun said, resting his face on his hands. “Tell us more about you guys.”

“I was about to ask the same,” Baekhyun said.

“Yeah, I bet you know a lot more about us than we know about you,” Chanyeol crossed his arms. “I didn’t even know you existed until last week.”

“Kyungsoo didn’t tell you about us?” Jongin asked, surprised.

“Very superficially,” Sehun explained. “We didn’t know he was engaged, that’s it.”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure why, but that information rubbed him in a wrong way. Yet he hid his discontentment.

“I’m a composer, Jongin here is a screenwriter,” he pointed. “We all met through work. I have known Jongin since… god… I met you eight years ago, wasn’t it? It’s been an eternity. And then, we met Kyungsoo when he started working in our company.”

“You’re being way too vague,” Jongin sighed. “I mean, I met Kyungsoo when he scared the shit out of me while we were in the cafeteria and we managed to become good friends, but you two had a wildly different story, didn’t you?”

Baekhyun’s fingers were circling an empty mug while he reminisced about the past.

“Yes, we had,” he said.

“I would like to listen to this beautiful love story that made Kyungsoo ready to tie the knot,” Chanyeol said and somehow it felt like a dare. Baekhyun stared at him, measuring his posture.

“I didn’t know that he applied to direct our short stories. It’s a really prestigious job and normally there’s just this group of old, pretentious men who believe that we, artists, have to do whatever they want, like we are some electronic tools that they can use for their perfect vision of the process. Some directors are nice, but never too accessible. I have this room where I can play with other musicians and then, one day, Kyungsoo walked in. I had seen him around, walking quietly with his backpack like a highschooler but we had never talked before. He bowed and introduced himself as a newcomer, not his job. I liked that he spoke in Korean – I mean, we’re a Korean-American company but people only speak English there. He asked me to play for him. I asked what exactly, and he said that he just wanted something to match a sunny day. A beautiful memory, he said. You see, I didn’t have to do it. I didn’t know he was, in a certain way, my superior or that he could’ve actually given me an order. But he was so sweet and kind and his request was so easy and genuine… I was defenseless. So I’ve decided to play the beginning of Für Elise, because it was easy and well, recognizable and he sat down and kept looking with his big eyes.”

Baekhyun made a pause to gulp.

“And then, I played it until the end. The song got harder and harder and then, I didn’t mind it anymore because he looked so impressed and happy. So when I finished, he clapped and thanked me. So cute, I thought. Kyungsoo really knows how to make us feel appreciated somehow and I was trying to pretend that I wasn’t blushing. I believe it was the first time, in a very long time, that playing piano was that exciting. I grew up having to play for hours and only creating made me happy, to be sincere – others’ music are theirs. I wanted mine. But it didn’t matter at that moment, because I just wanted to impress him. And you know what’s ironic? Beethoven wrote that solo to impress a student that he fell in love with. There are certain things that only destiny can explain, really.”

They were so absorbed by that story that they had missed the waitress putting the cake on the table. None of them had noticed it until Baekhyun finished his story.

“I knew you would tell it in a nice way, hyung,” Jongin smiled, sweet as always. “Ah, you make me fall in love with love again.”

“That’s nice,” Sehun said, his eyes a bit lost like he was thinking.

“It doesn’t really explain why you’re getting married,” Chanyeol said. “I mean, there’s a gap.”

“If you want to know why Kyungsoo is getting married…Then, you should ask him,” Baekhyun answered quickly. “I’m getting married because I found someone who can be my friend and fuck me good, so that’s the thing. You don’t let a man who cooks, cleans, and knows the right moment to pull your hair during sex to get away.”

Baekhyun has very skilled fingers to play and a sharp tongue to say whatever he wanted; he knew how to say the right thing at the right time. His comment had the expected response and made Sehun laugh, covering his mouth to not spit any cake on them. Jongin was used to Baekhyun’s sudden dirty talk or inappropriate comments at the appropriate times, so he just smiled. Chanyeol’s eyes denounced his shock – he was a bit naïve, Baekhyun noticed.

“I’m not going to eat cake,” Baekhyun announced. “You can have anything.”

“Thanks for it, by the way. For not, hm, letting us eat the free slices,” Chanyeol said. “That was nice.”

“That’s fine. So, do you guys have stories to tell us?”

“Like what? Chanyeol once broke a table because he lost in a game. He also wore wigs as a teenager because the school’s haircut was too short,” Sehun pointed to his friend with the tiny fork.

“Sehun cries if there’s no one to sleep next to him,” Chanyeol said, annoyed.

“You don’t have any ass,” Sehun said.

“You look like a chicken,” Chanyeol answered quickly.

Jongin was laughing, amused.

“You must have been friends for a long time,” Baekhyun noticed.

“Since we’re kids,” Sehun explained. “And then, we met Kyungsoo too, we’ve known each other for ages.”

“Any embarrassing story?” Jongin was curious. His body was relaxed and he was talking, which meant that he was feeling comfortable around them.

“Nah, only like, crying while watching anime,” Chanyeol answered. “He’s a heavy drinker so he doesn’t do embarrassing things when he’s drunk.”

“You best believe it, Chanyeol is like a Kyungsoo encyclopedia,” Sehun added.

“Really? That’s interesting, any ex stories that I should’ve know before I say yes?” Baekhyun was daring.

Sehun and Chanyeol stopped and looked at each other.

“No,” Chanyeol said quickly.

“He had a couple of things but he didn’t take it very seriously, he’s a workaholic, so...” Sehun added and he sounded sincere.

“That’s why we’re surprised about… the whole wedding thing,” Chanyeol gulped.

“Surprised,” Baekhyun said absently.


	3. But we were something, don't you think so?

Chanyeol always stopped in front of Sehun’s door when he was dropping his friend out. Sehun was a bit lazy, he needed a moment before going home on his own. He checked his watch, waiting for Sehun to leave the car and thought that, at that moment, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun would’ve been introducing their families to each other. What a huge step, he realized.

“Do you think about marriage?” Chanyeol asked suddenly.

“Sometimes,” Sehun shrugged. “Not here, of course.”

Chanyeol let his body rest on the seat, thinking and thinking.

“I don’t want Kyungsoo to get married,” he confessed.

“What an epiphany,” Sehun wasn’t impressed.

“It’s just—it will change everything,” Chanyeol kept talking, ignoring his ironic tone. “We barely see him now, imagine when he’s married and move out forever. We’ll see him once a year or even less, we’ll have nothing to talk about but bullshit.”

Sehun was now serious, staring at him.

“It’s being a long time since I’ve heard you being this pessimistic.”

“Well, I guess I’m being realistic.”

“You’re not realistic, I mean, normally.”

“Probably not, but now I have to, don’t I? Reality is hitting us in the face.”

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?”

Sehun pushed his long hair back and sat straight, seeming tired.

“Maybe you just don’t want him to marry.”

“I know, I just said the exact same thing,” Chanyeol frowned.

“Maybe you’re used to Kyungsoo treating you as his wife and now you realized that he’s moving on and you don’t want him to marry because of that,” Sehun said simply, like it was a really easy thing to say.

“That would make me a selfish asshole,” Chanyeol was offended. “I just want him around. Is that much to ask?”

“Yes, because Kyungsoo is a loyal friend but he’s also a working zombie. We’re adults, Chanyeol. We find partners because we don’t even have time for chasing anymore,” he pouted – it sounded personal. “Kyungsoo is reliable but he’s not following you around anymore and you’re bothered, which is selfish but also okay? I don’t mind being selfish sometimes. It’s not like it’s a crime to feel this way.”

“That’s not it,” Chanyeol protested.

“Then, what is it? Because not wanting to marry him and not wanting him to marry someone else seem terrible no matter what.”

“Get out,” Chanyeol complained. “Just go home, I’m tired.”

“Fine, I don’t care,” Sehun showed him the tongue and left the car.

Chanyeol looked at the rear mirror instead, distracted for a second.

“Would you care if I tried to interfere?” He asked loud enough to be heard.

“I would care but I wouldn’t stop you,” Sehun said. “That’s not the kind of mess I want to be dragged in.”

Chanyeol turned the engine on.

Kyungsoo was changing the bed, already in his pajamas, when Baekhyun walked in, yawning loudly. The room décor complemented his loose white Rolling Stones t-shirt, as the walls were covered with bands and musician’s posters and albums. Kyungsoo put his glasses on the top of his bag and sat on the bed while Baekhyun was folding the towel. It felt like any other day, except they were in Baekhyun's family house. 

“That’s a large room,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

“There was a piano here,” Baekhyun said, jumping on the bed. “And a couple of things I took with me. It feels kind of empty… they also took all my video games and the television.”

Kyungsoo tried to picture his fiancé as a kid, sleeping in that huge, old bed.  
“It’s a very fancy room,” he concluded.

Baekhyun wasn’t listening to him anymore, rolling on the bed to get closer.

“Hey, isn’t this nice,” he whispered. “Only the two of us here.”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo answered absently. “Do you think it went okay?”

“Yes, of course,” Baekhyun smiled. “No inappropriate comments, no one choked on their food, they were nice to each other… It was great. Exhausting, but great.”

“Did they like me?” Kyungsoo wondered.

“My parents?” Baekhyun raised his head to look at him better. “Kyungsoo, they’re old. There’s no old person in this world who doesn’t love you. It’s not possible. That’s why we’re invincible, right? You charm the oldies, I charm the young ones.”

Kyungsoo giggled, of course. He was used to giggling when he was around his lover.

“Where’s your face mask,” he realized, staring at Baekhyun.

“Well…” he winked. “I thought we were going to make out a little bit.”

His slender fingers were slowly moving closer to Kyungsoo’s arm. Before he could touch it, Kyungsoo held his wrist.

“You thought wrong,” he said dryly.

“Come on,” Baekhyun whined. “I had a really long day, it’s just a few kisses, you can slap me a bit if you want—”

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo frowned. “I thought you had fun with my friends today. Chanyeol told me you guys ate free cake.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath, sprawled on bed again.

“We had fun. Yet, you know. They’re your friends, so I’m still getting used to them. But now that we’re talking about that…”

It was a dangerous sentence; Kyungsoo stared at their legs on bed.

“Why didn’t you tell your friends about me?”

“I did. That’s why you’re going out with them.”

“Sooner, Kyungsoo. You know what I mean. They said they knew about me last week.”

“I told a few people that we were dating, I just didn’t give many details. I haven't spoken a lot with them since I left the country, I don’t have the time for that.”

Baekhyun sat up and crossed his arms.

“You didn’t have time to share something as important as our relationship with your closest friends?”

Kyungsoo essayed an answer and then gave up, scratching behind his ear.

“I wish things were easier, but they’re not,” he said with a conclusive tone. He wouldn’t elaborate on that, it would make things worse.

“I hate to discuss those things when you’re being evasive like that,” Baekhyun jumped off the bed.

“What do you want me to say?” Kyungsoo asked genuinely. “It is what it is.”

_“It is what it is,”_ Baekhyun made a face, showing his tongue.

“Don’t be childish,” Kyungsoo tapped the bed. “Come here, huh.”

“Ah, _now_ you wanna make out, I wonder why,” Baekhyun wasn’t impressed. “I can see what you’re doing. You really think you can just manipulate me this way.”

Kyungsoo stared at him, quiet.

“And you’re goddamn right,” Baekhyun said, running back to bed.

Kyungsoo giggled as his fiancé threw himself on his arms, an exaggerated gesture, and then kissed his lips gently.

“Don’t worry about those things,” Kyungsoo whispered.

“I’m just frustrated, forget it,” Baekhyun confessed, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“It’s an important moment, we’re tense,” Kyungsoo agreed. “Why don’t you come with us for drinks, then?”

“Are you going out with your friends?” Baekhyun said and then, seemed to regret it – it sounded bitter.

“Bring Jongin too, let’s make it a celebration,” Kyungsoo said softly. It was a gift, obviously. They didn’t have much time to relax lately. 

“Fine,” was the quiet answer. He wasn’t satisfied, of course, but he knew it was the best he could get at that moment.

“I love you,” Kyungsoo whispered, knowing very well the effect of his words. “And we’re getting married because I want everyone to know that.”

Baekhyun’s eyes went soft, smaller. He was sleepy and in love, so he didn’t question anything else.

Jongin couldn’t take his face mask off so he had to walk through the door like that; he was always the sacrificial lamb, the one who had to do everything that his sisters thought was too embarrassing to do – they, of course, stayed at the living room, watching the drama episode while eating chips.

He checked the door and it was Baekhyun. Jongin thought about his phone, long forgotten in his room.

“Did something happen?” He asked as soon as he opened the door.

“Yes, we’re going out, loser,” Baekhyun said and he had eyeshadow on and a choker. The clothes were definitely the new Burberry collection, the one he had been keeping on the closet while wearing those gender-neutral hoodies he was into lately. 

“You look very ‘90s,” Jongin said, smiling. “I don’t know. Today is spa day, I don’t want to go full makeup.”

His niece ran in the corridor screaming “90s’”. She loved new words and expressions.

“You don’t need to look hotter than you are, I do. It’s a statement,” he sighed. “We’re going out with Kyungsoo and his friends. I just confirmed my theory.”

Jongin rolled his eyes and his mask started to fall off. He fixed it, inviting Baekhyun in with a gesture.

“We’re only going out if we’re going to have fun, okay? I don’t wanna play CSI tonight. I want to relax.”

“I’m not gonna play CSI, I told you, I just confirmed. There’s nothing else to investigate. I mean, except—”

“Let’s discuss this in my room. My sisters are watching TV and the kids are running around,” Jongin held his arm, guiding him inside. “You’re too loud!”

“I mean, I found out I was right so I have to be loud,” Baekhyun told him, sounding very confident. “I asked him why he didn’t tell them about me earlier and he preferred to dick me down than tell me the truth about it. I’m not complaining, though.” “I can’t believe you—”

“Dick,” his niece screamed in the hall.

The two of them looked back for a second and with no words needed, ran to Jongin’s room. Jongin opened the door and slammed it when the both were safe inside.

“You always do that,” he complained.

“I was right!” Baekhyun said.

“It’s not that hard for you to be right, you’re smart,” Jongin said. “Listen. Promise me you’ll forget this and have fun or I’m not going. I can’t stand more relationship drama, okay? I’m single, I don’t deserve this.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun sat on his bed.

“Also, I really like Kyungsoo’s friends? They’re nice and fun, so I would appreciate it if you tried to be less suspicious around them,” Jongin said, finally removing the face mask.

“Of course, you like them. I mean, who wouldn’t love two hot-all-muscled dudes who have great hair and skin?”

Jongin turned back, slightly disappointed to find out the truth.

“So, this is not about Kyungsoo. You’re feeling insecure.”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun pouted.

Jongin walked back to his bed and sat next to his best friend, summoning his therapist's voice and patience.

“They look good but you also look good—”

“I know I look good. That’s not that,” Baekhyun explained. “It’s the shortie complex. He likes to be in control of big things.”

“Oh, god, is that sexual? I don’t wanna discuss that,” Jongin stood up immediately.

“Not exactly. Driving a Maseratti, applying to a high-level job despite being young, always taking the high road, the hardest work, and being surrounded by—”

Jongin held Baekhyun’s face with both hands.

“Repeat with me,” he ordered his confused friend. “I’m getting married with someone that loves me. End of story.”

Baekhyun just stared but he seemed to be a little calmer.

“I understand that you’re nervous because you’re getting married,” Jongin said. “I can only imagine what’s like but that’s okay. I guarantee you that you have absolutely no shit to worry about. You’re absolutely annoying and yet Kyungsoo adores you. He smiles when you’re being a little shit and everyone else wants to punch you. Now please, _please,_ stop worrying for a second and let’s relax. I _beg_ you!”

“Fine, I’ll choose your outfit,” Baekhyun pushed him away. “Go take a shower, you’re smelling like Doritos.”

Jongin let him go, used to that kind of bickering. He enjoyed time at home but to keep his mind busy (or to get drunk) was the easiest way to forget the tragic story of being a best man while having a broken heart and severely thinking about falling in love ever again. Like, ever.

He wondered about channeling his pain into a comedy someday; maybe a very cheesy one like those Julia Robert’s ‘90s movies, but he pushed that thought away to focus on the moment. He and Baekhyun went alone, as soon as they found out that Kyungsoo was already there with friends.

“Where?” Jongin asked carefully, afraid that Baekhyun would be angry after that information.

“VIP room, an Itaewon bar,” he said casually, seeming to be fine with that.

Jongin was happy to walk on those streets again. He left home when he was a teenager to pursue his career and he had no time to waste back home. Since his family invested heavily on him, he always tried his very best and tried to hide his homesickness.

It was a fancy place.

“Hello,” Baekhyun walked in, unafraid.

They were sitting at the table already. Kyungsoo was resting his back on the wall, next to Chanyeol and Sehun who were sitting parallel to them, with perfect posture.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, standing up. “I got your message.”

Baekhyun smiled brightly and for a moment, Jongin thought that he hallucinated the whole ‘I was right thing’. He sat down next to Sehun, who offered him a beer.

Baekhyun sat on Kyungsoo’s lap – but that was quite regular.

“Sit on the chair,” Kyungsoo held his fiancé’s waist gently.

“No,” Baekhyun said, grabbing a beer. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo said. “It’s mine.”

Jongin smiled awkwardly, hands on the table.

“This is a nice room. I thought only celebrities went to these things.”

“I’m technically a celebrity,” Sehun said. “I work with them.”

“Oh,” Jongin nodded.

“That’s how he got his date for the wedding,” Chanyeol said, resting his elbows on the table. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a beanbag across his chest.“Who’s your date?” Kyungsoo asked, leaning his head to the side to see them better.

“It’s a secret,” Sehun raised his bottle. “But they’re bigger than Kim Jongdae.”

“No one is bigger than Kim Jongdae,” Baekhyun said seriously.

“Baekhyun is his biggest fan,” Kyungsoo explained simply.

“I always write songs thinking about his voice,” Baekhyun confessed (though Jongin already knew). “He’s the perfect vocalist, really.”

“Don’t let him gush, he’ll never shut up about his idol,” Jongin warned them.

Chanyeol and Sehun exchanged a look.

“Ahh…” Sehun started.

“Kim Jongdae is going to sing at the wedding,” Chanyeol said quickly.

It was a mess. Sehun screamed at Chanyeol, Baekhyun jumped off Kyungsoo’s lap, Jongin almost fell from his pillow due to the loud unexpected noise and Kyungsoo asked with a tiny voice, ‘oh really?’.

“I can’t believe, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Baekhyun screamed.

“It’s scheduled,” Sehun said. “God, it could have been such a surprise, Chanyeol!”

“They would find out anyway,” Chanyeol said defensively.

“That’s nice,” Kyungsoo smiled.

Jongin sat on the pillow again, dusting off his pants. That’s better than nice, he realized, as he paid attention to their conversation. In a matter of seconds, Baekhyun was finally letting Kyungsoo’s friends in.

A few beers later and they were all best friends. Baekhyun was telling Sehun a few anecdotes about Hollywood stars and Sehun was confiding about the celebrities he knew. They were both really drunk and despite everyone drinking almost the same amount, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol remained very sober. 

“My brother is calling,” Kyungsoo warned them, showing his phone. “I’ll answer outside.”

Jongin nodded. Chanyeol, who was before very entertained by something that Kyungsoo was saying, approached him.

“So, you don’t drink?”

“I don’t like the taste,” Jongin smiled, holding his orange juice and feeling like a child. Chanyeol giggled.

“You’re really shy, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jongin said. “I’m sorry. I think you’re all really cool, but I’m the quiet type.”

“That’s fine,” Chanyeol pointed. “All my best friends are the quiet type. I’m used to it.”

“Well, if you become friends with Baekhyun, then you’ll have a very noisy one,” Jongin pointed to his best friend, but it was like they weren’t there. Sehun was almost slipping the name of the celebrity and Baekhyun was asking a hundred questions while trying to find out – drunk as they were, they probably didn’t even notice that Kyungsoo left the room.

Jongin looked back at Chanyeol, that twisted his mouth a little before giving a very fake smile. He was also getting (slightly) drunk and it wasn’t subtle.

“Can’t wait,” he said, a bit dry.

Jongin frowned, already overthinking.

“Sorry if we’re a nuisance,” Jongin said. “It must’ve been crazy, having to put a whole wedding in your schedule so suddenly.”

“Ah, I don’t mind about that,” Chanyeol assured him. “I’m not worrying about that, really.”

“Are you worrying about something?” Jongin asked gently. “I mean, because of this situation.”

Chanyeol opened his mouth and closed it quickly.

“No,” he said. “No worries.”

“Huh,” Jongin nodded.

“Zhang Yixing,” Baekhyun screamed next to them, standing up. “No, it can’t be!”

Sehun shrugged, with a cocky expression.

“Oh, my god. No, you’re lying—it can’t be. He’s—my wedding? How do you expect me to get married in front of Zhang Yixing? I mean—I can’t? I’ll leave Kyungsoo there and run away with him.”

Chanyeol giggled and muttered, “That wouldn’t be bad.”

Jongin wasn’t staring at him but, well, it was audible.

“He left me a small gift after he left my house,” Sehun teased. “Wanna see it?”

“Holy shit, yeah,” Baekhyun gestured for them to high five. Jongin snorted because banging a celebrity and a bunch of beers were just enough for them to bond like old friends. Sehun and Baekhyun stormed out, giggling like kids.

“Hey—” Chanyeol screamed in a vain attempt to stop them. “God, I hope they don’t trip on anything, they’re wasted.”  
Jongin grabbed his juice and sipped it from the straw.

“Why do I feel like you’re not… hmm…very happy about this marriage?” He asked, trying to sound casual.

“What?” Chanyeol blinked. “Of course, I am. I’m the best man—”

“You don’t sound very excited.”

“Well, you’re the best man as well and you don’t sound excited either.”

“I have reasons.”

“Which is?”

“Well, I’m facing a bad breakup so it’s very excusable to not be into romance. What about yours?”

Chanyeol gulped and rubbed his neck.

“I just wonder if it’s not rushed. I mean. Don’t you?”

“No,” Jongin said. “I trust their decisions, and you know—you don’t sound convincing.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking. I guess, hmm. I have some theories.”

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes, measuring the other man. “Theories?”

Jongin licked his lips and asked himself if he was really going to say it. It was a bad idea because well, despite being older and somewhat wise, Baekhyun always put him in terrible situations (that wedding being one) due to his recklessness and insecurity. Yet, it was worth a try; if he were wrong, then he would at least shut his friend up for good.

“Maybe there’s romantic feelings between you and Kyungsoo,” Jongin said fast, like he was ripping a band aid. “It happens between close friends, right?”

Chanyeol gaped.

“There’s none,” he clarified. “We’re just friends.”

“Really? Not even in the past?” Jongin was drunk in the feeling of being possibly right.

Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head.

“Look—I don’t know what he told you, but the past is past. We forgot about what happened.”

Jongin was serious. “What happened?”

Chanyeol didn’t react, his eyes widened like he was just caught. _Maybe he was,_ Jongin thought, feeling like Sherlock Holmes himself.

“Didn’t he tell you?” Chanyeol finally moved.

“I mean, he totally did,” Jongin looked down so he could lie better. “But, uh, maybe you, ahm, had a different perspective. We shouldn’t take just one version of a story as the truth about it.”

Chanyeol put his beer on the table solemnly and nodded.

“You’re right. I—I don’t think I ever shared it with anyone. I mean—not. I didn’t open my heart about it.”

Jongin raised his hand to stop him, already feeling guilty, regretting his lie, but Chanyeol wasn’t paying attention to him; he seemed to be lost in memories.

“You know when Kyungsoo confessed, I was too young and dumb. I didn’t know much about myself, I wasn’t that confident. I used to wear a wig because my school’s haircut was too short. And you know, I knew we were kind of a couple? He used to hold my hand like a gentleman sometimes, like holding high in the air, only by the tips. That was cute. I guess my mom knew it too? She liked him way too much… still likes him. How could I be aware of my feelings for him if I wasn’t even sure of who I was? So hmm, yeah. Don’t believe him when he says I rejected him. I just had a really long gay panic. It lasted a couple of years, but now I’m fine.”

Jongin’s hand fell to his lap – he was shocked.

“Kyungsoo confessed to you?” Jongin gaped. “Oh my god. I can’t believe Baekhyun was right!”

“What?” Chanyeol asked.

“What?” Jongin realized that he just exposed his lie.

It took three seconds for Chanyeol to get up and walk to him; Jongin mirrored him, but walked to the opposite side, nervous. Judging by the energy in the air, a best men fight was about to start.

“Kyungsoo didn’t tell you anything,” Chanyeol pointed, angry, trying to predict where Jongin was going. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Okay, calm down, let me explain,” Jongin said, raising his hands and swinging his body to both sides, so he would be ready if the other ran to him.

Chanyeol stopped.

“What?” Jongin gulped.

“I’m waiting for you to explain,” he said.

The writer was in shock.

“Well, I don’t have a good one. I mean, I didn’t expect you to do that,” Jongin confessed.

“So you lied again?” Chanyeol went back to his angry tone.

Jongin made a gesture indicating his hopelessness. Chanyeol ran after him, as expected. The room was small and it wasn’t made for a hide-and-seek game anytime, so Chanyeol held Jongin’s arm right after; Jongin’s body memories activated and he attacked the taller man back, pulling his arm with enough force to make Chanyeol lose his balance. With that distraction, Jongin held the other’s arms and threw him against the wall.

Chanyeol gasped, surprised. Jongin held both of his wrists and immobilized him, pressing their hands against the wall.

“Damn,” Chanyeol said. “What the fuck?”

“Well, if you think that being bigger is enough to take me down, you better know that I was the only ballet boy in my school,” Jongin said slowly, getting closer to intimidate the other man. “I learned how to fight in order to survive.”

“I wasn’t going to _actually_ beat you, that’s a crime!” Chanyeol pouted, a bit scared. “My back is hurting now!”

“Don’t come at me,” Jongin said again, though he wasn’t being as serious as he wanted to. “Do you understand?”

“Okay, I get it, now let me go,” Chanyeol asked.

The door opened. Jongin turned his neck to see who it was and faced Sehun piggybacking Baekhyun.

“… and then he asked me, in which language do you prefer me to dirty talk?” Sehun said, walking in distractedly. “And I am a fan of Spanish, but—”

Baekhyun saw them first, lifting his head that was comfortably on Sehun’s shoulder.

“Hey, what are you two doing?”

Jongin set Chanyeol free as soon as he realized that he was pressing a man against the wall.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he explained. “Baekhyun, we need to talk. Right now!”

Both Sehun and Baekhyun seemed too confused to answer.

“No,” Chanyeol held Jongin, back hugging him. “It’s exactly what it looks like. Please give us some privacy!”

“Oh, oh,” Sehun nodded with big eyes. “I get it. Okay!”

And he left the room like a storm, shaking Baekhyun in his back. Jongin’s first reaction was to gape; soon this shock was replaced by anger and he elbowed Chanyeol away from him.

“What the hell,” he turned back, shouting.

Chanyeol kneeled on the floor and raised his both hands, looking up.

“Please, don’t tell him about Kyungsoo,” he begged. “Please, you’re going to ruin everything!”

“You’re the one who sounded happy to see their marriage ruined,” Jongin pointed in disbelief.

“I know, and I have to confess that it would, in fact, bring me joy,” Chanyeol licked his lips nervously. “But I’m not trying to ruin their marriage.”

“I don’t believe you,” Jongin crossed his arms. “You seem to have feelings for him.”

“I have,” Chanyeol said simply. “And I intend on telling him that before he gets married… because I don’t want him to get married.”

Jongin was speechless.

“Before you get wrong ideas, I think it’s the best thing to do,” Chanyeol continued. “But if you’re the one that does it, then their marriage and my friendship will be ruined.”

“How?” Jongin shouted. “You don’t make any sense at all.”

“Listen,” Chanyeol got up to stare at him in the eyes. “Kyungsoo was in love with me for a long time and the reason why we have never dated was because I never returned his feelings, right?

He literally tried to asked me to date him for years but I was dumb and didn’t notice it. But, well, right now, I can return his feelings.”

“He’s getting married to my best friend,” Jongin said impatiently. “And you’re the best man! That would be a fucked-up thing to do.”

“No, because I’m just trying to find out if he still has feelings for me,” Chanyeol said exasperatedly. “He left everything and abandoned us, and you know, even if he has a bright career I keep wondering if he did that because of me? What if he’s getting married to Baekhyun because he couldn’t get married to me? What if _your best friend_ is getting married with a man that he loves but doesn’t love him back and it’s just playing house to cure a heartbreak?”

Jongin couldn’t find a good answer, so he chose denial.

“I—no,” he shook his head. “That’s awful.”

“I know, but if I try to confess and he rejects me, then it’s between us,” Chanyeol almost whispered. “And if you tell them, then it’ll be a mess. Baekhyun will hate me, Kyungsoo and I will never get to be friends again and the wedding will be a disaster.”

Jongin really wanted to refute that. He really wanted to find a really good argument to shut that man up but… Chanyeol was right. Only the idea of having to confirm that Baekhyun’s theory was right made him anxious. He knew Baekhyun and his hidden insecurities very well and it was a recipe for disaster. Also, Kyungsoo seemed deeply oblivious.

“I can’t process it right now,” Jongin sighed.

“Please, don’t tell him,” Chanyeol begged again.

“I won’t,” Jongin pulled him down by the collar. “But that doesn’t mean you can do anything you want. From now on, I’m keeping my eyes on you. If you cross the line, I swear I’ll do a plié over your dead body.”

Chanyeol stared at him blankly.

“I’m trying to be threatening,” Jongin confessed. “It’s hard, ok? I’m a peaceful guy.”

“Whatever,” Chanyeol hugged him, face on the other’s belly. “Good god, thank you very much, man. I was about to—”

Someone opened the door. Jongin froze in place, unable to turn back since Chanyeol was accidentally keeping him in place. Chanyeol moved his head and gulped.

“Oh, hi, Kyungsoo,” he mumbled.

The door closed, judging by the sound. Jongin didn’t even have time to say anything.

“That one will be hard to explain,” Chanyeol looked up, gulping again.

“Get the hell off me,” Jongin whispered, angry.

Chanyeol jumped on his feet, nodding. Jongin wished he could be angrier, a bit mad about Chanyeol’s behavior because he felt like it was going to be a big problem. Yet, he wasn’t supposed to get more involved—but he wanted to protect his friend—

“I’ll bring them back,” Chanyeol promised, pouting, leaving before Jongin could say anything else.

The rest of the night was a big blur. Jongin was overthinking and trying to stop them from drinking too much; Kyungsoo was almost sober when they left the place but Jongin thought it was safer to drive everyone back home, just to be sure. Sehun decided to sit in the front seat, guiding Jongin, while Baekhyun was almost passing out on Kyungsoo’s lap, right next to a very quiet Chanyeol in the corner.

“Oh,” Sehun said suddenly, jaw dropping. Since he was staring at his phone, Jongin was worried.

“What?” He asked. “Is there any problem on the road?”

“No,” Sehun said, blinking many times. “Yixing asked me out.”

“Is that a surprise?” Kyungsoo asked, confused. “I thought you two were dating.”

“Dating is a strong word,” Sehun added, turning to look at him. “It’s our first date… he asked me out to play paintball.”

“That’s very Yixing,” Baekhyun mumbled, sleepy eyes closing.

“It seems fun,” Chanyeol nodded. “Say yes, then.”

Sehun’s eyes were glued on the screen.

“Oh, he rented the whole place for us,” he smiled. “That’s nice.”

“Only the two of you?” Kyungsoo asked. “I thought it was supposed to be played in teams.”

Sehun was typing; Jongin wasn’t paying attention since he was driving.  
“He said that he forgot that,” Sehun giggled. “He just wanted some privacy. By the way, no one knows we’re having this conversation.”

“And you’re telling Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo mocked. Jongin could hear the slap that followed the comment.

“Asshole,” Chanyeol said but it sounded fond. Jongin rolled his eyes back, annoyed.

“Can’t we go?” Baekhyun asked, yawning. “We could make small teams.”

“That’s a nice idea,” Sehun agreed.

“Do we have the time for that?” Kyungsoo wondered. Jongin watched him through the mirror, caressing Baekhyun’s back gently.

“God, a love hotel would be just fine,” Sehun mumbled. “But that’s cute.”

“We should go, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol said.

“Yeah,” Jongin finally added, adjusting the mirror to see them better. “We _all_ should go.”

Kyungsoo walked out of the bathroom, finally clean and smelling well after he had to hold Baekhyun’s head right over the toilet—it didn’t go well. He dragged Baekhyun to the shower and made sure that his fiancé was nice and clean before they went to bed. He opened the closet and took his pajamas, sure that he was the only one awake.

“It feels surreal,” Baekhyun said loudly, which startled Kyungsoo.

He stared at the bed, even if he couldn’t see much. “What?”

“We’re about to get married. I still feel drunk.”

“You’re probably still drunk,” Kyungsoo said while getting dressed. Baekhyun’s teddy bears and dolls made him a little too conscious, so he covered himself with the closet’s door.

“I think there’s something going on between Jongin and the hardcore porn actor,” Baekhyun yawned.

Kyungsoo blinked many times. “Jongin is dating a porn actor?!”

Baekhyun laughed loud, rolling on the bed.

“No, no—I mean, Chanyeol. I think there’s something happening between them. We caught them making out, I think.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo grunted back. He did catch them in a weird moment. “I hope it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“Why?”

Kyungsoo got out of the closet, stretching. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like a smart idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well, Jongin seems hurt and they live far away from each other.”

“It’s just a thing for them, I guess. Sometimes people need to get some to forget an ex,” Baekhyun sat on the bed with sleepy eyes. “Don’t you think so?”

Kyungsoo frowned, watching a drop of water fall down his curved back.

“I wouldn’t know,” he mumbled. “Why don’t you sleep?”

“Restless,” Baekhyun sighed and stared at him. “Come here.”


	4. I had this dream you're doing cool shit, having adventures on your own

Kyungsoo was waiting for the right moment to tell everyone about his future plans when Chanyeol talked about travelling to Japan, so it was perfect. He had a nice party and had even a fun trip before leaving the country for real. Yet when he left home—not to move out, just to spend a week away with Chanyeol and Sehun—he didn’t feel confident about his choices.

He didn’t tell them.

They went to see the Sakuras and Sehun left to buy souvenirs. Chanyeol grabbed Kyungsoo’s arms and guided him to the pink flowers.

“Ah, I love this,” Chanyeol said, smiling. “So pretty.”

Yes, it was. Kyungsoo looked up and enjoyed that for a moment, trying to distract his mind from any intrusive thought.

“We should come here every year,” Chanyeol mumbled.

Kyungsoo said nothing, just staring at his friend and his pure and genuine smile. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that he had been in love with Chanyeol for so long – easy to forget that it was in the past. Not when they were like that, just the two of them in such a romantic situation, Kyungsoo’s heart couldn’t help itself but ache again.

“Sehun will come with you,” Kyungsoo mumbled.

Around a year later, Kyungsoo was waking up to a nice smell.

“What’s that?” He opened his eyes.

“Better than any alarm,” Baekhyun said, walking in the room with a plate. Kyungsoo’s apartment was too small to hide any different smell. “You like food way more than me.”

“Not a competition,” Kyungsoo said, sitting up. He was so focused that he didn’t even grab his glasses.

Baekhyun kneeled in the bed and showed the cake.

“A birthday cake?”

Baekhyun answered with a lazy smile, his sleepy eyes so small and cute.

“Is today your birthday?” Kyungsoo was shocked.

“Yup,” he answered. “I’m now officially older than you.”

Kyungsoo left the bed to set the table, running before Baekhyun could eat the cake with his bare hands. He chose the fancy dishes and the clean cloth. For the first time, in such a long time, he allowed himself to celebrate – he had already forgotten about those kinds of things.

“Don’t eat the cake yet,” he begged.

Baekhyun walked in with Chantilly on his cheeks.

“Only the toppings, I swear. I didn’t touch the cake.”

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Chocolate,” he smiled like a little kid.

“Isn’t that much sugar all at once?”

“It’s my birthday. I deserve it.”

Kyungsoo laughed but didn’t have a good argument to say no. He went to the kitchen and warmed milk; as he was breaking little pieces of chocolate, still smelling like sweat and old sheets, he smiled to himself.


	5. We never painted by the numbers, baby, But we were making it count

Yixing had chosen a very teenage place, Jongin thought and then realized that he had just addressed Zhang Yixing by his name like he had known him before.

“I’m a bit nervous,” he confessed to Baekhyun as they entered the mall.

“Well, I’m about to pee on myself so, yeah, I get it,” he mumbled, checking his phone. “You didn’t have to come, you know. You can rest.”

“Well, we have to choose the flowers later, right?”

“You didn’t have to.”

“What do you know about flowers, anyway?”

“True,” Baekhyun said distractedly. He was a bit distant, like he was overthinking everything; it was a cycle that Jongin had seen before, big sweaters, worried hair fidgeting and long gaps between answers. The mall was super illuminated, light strong on their eyes, noises everywhere, so they rushed to the parking lot where the paintball.

“Shouldn’t this be a sport played in the outdoors?” Jongin asked himself out loud. 

“He’s a celebrity,” Baekhyun mumbled. “God, I’m starving.”

“Did you eat today?”

“No,” the groom said. 

“Why not?” Jongin even asked, but there was no time for that, as they faced two big securities in front of the elevator. 

“Id, please,” one of them asked, not very gently. 

The friends shared a look but did as they were told. They were searched and had their personal items confiscated, including phones. 

“You won’t need them, anyway,” the security informed. “Have fun.”

It felt like a terrible pun in an action movie, but they walked in anyway. Chanyeol was the easiest to spot, as always, and Jongin was relieved to see him, somehow. Kyungsoo was next to him and they were chatting, while Sehun was putting on his safety glasses next to… Zhang Yixing. 

“Oh, god,” Jongin mumbled. “It’s him.”

“I’m about to faint,” Baekhyun said.

“Hope it’s because you’re excited, not hungry,” his best friend whispered. 

They didn’t discuss that. Kyungsoo spotted them and smiled, so everything seemed well. Jongin noticed that they were dressed in different colors and soon realized that they were placed in two different teams. 

“Hello,” he said, finally entering the arena. “Why am I dressed in red?”

“My team,” Sehun explained and pointed to his date. “Oh, Yixing, this is Jongin. He’s the best man.”

Zhang Yixing was as pretty as the Calvin Klein advertising made him look. Baekhyun joined them, introducing himself. 

“The groom,” he offered his hand to the celebrity. “But only because you’re dating Sehun first.”

That made everyone laugh - except Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, who were stuck in their little world. 

“Oh, today he’s your enemy,” Sehun said, pointing at the two best friends in the corner. “You’ll go to the other side with them.”

Ah, amazing, Jongin thought, again he was the third-wheel. Not that he had a choice, at this point. 

The instructor explained the game, how they could obtain points and the general rules. Jongin had played it before but never in the middle of a parking lot, using cars as their shield. It was exciting, at least, because it would really feel like action movies. There was a countdown and for a second, the writer simply forgot that this was something that he was doing only because his best friend asked him to do. He had made new friends and he was having a good time with a cool celebrity… the lights went down, giving them time to hide. 

None of the teams had time to make a plan, but that was how life was… full of fun accidents. 

When they could see again, there was no one in sight, only cars. Jongin didn’t move, because he knew exactly who he wanted to shoot. The guy who was about to ruin the party and probably the one who would have the hardest time trying to be subtle and invisible. 

He spotted Sehun two cars away and moved forward to avoid being too close. Maybe if they had a plan, they would walk in packs, but now Jongin had an objective. He was paying attention because he knew Kyungsoo was the best at hiding and shooting and now they were in different teams. 

Jongin rolled on the ground, under the cars, so they wouldn’t see him behind the car windows. There was a shoot and the lights went off again - someone was out. He jumped on his feet when he noticed a tall person and was shocked when he realized that they had accidentally made an agglomeration. He could spot Yixing behind a huge blue car, Baekhyun between bikes and Chanyeol, couched on the corner, could easily take the enemy alone, but he didn’t seem to be interested, only waiting. 

Jongin frowned. Was he going to play or…

Maybe they had the same strategy. Maybe Chanyeol’s target was Baekhyun. 

The lights went off again, another shoot. And then another. Jongin threw himself on the floor, hoping he wasn’t hit.

_Game over,_ the voice said. 

“Already?” Chanyeol complained. 

The lights went on and to Jongin’s terrible surprise, there was blue paint on his vest. He looked up, angry, trying to find who did it, but everyone around had blue pain on their bodies, including Baekhyun, which was a member of the blue team. 

“It’s not over yet,” Yixing walked away from the cars. “We can play again. I rented for the whole evening.”

“Who won?” Baekhyun asked, wiping paint off his glasses. 

“Me,” Kyungsoo was still in the shadows. “I got Sehun first, then Jongin and Yixing now.”

“Oh,” Yixing smiled like he had just won. “You’re a great opponent. Next time, you’ll be my target.”

Kyungsoo walked out of a corner, right behind Chanyeol, and asked:

“So we’re keeping the same teams?” 

Chanyeol was ready to say yes when Jongin raised his gun and shot him. It was unexpected and Kyungsoo jumped back, startled. 

“God,” Baekhyun said. “The game is over for now, man.”

Chanyeol didn’t say anything, despite his surprise. 

“Change the teams, I’m not playing anymore,” Jongin dropped his gun on the floor. “I’ll take care of the flowers so you all can have more time.”

He didn’t mean to sound annoyed, but it was a natural reaction. He suddenly realized how dumb was that extra effort to avoid something that he wasn’t involved in, after all. Jongin was still taking care of his own wounds and problems and it was just like that, shooting in the dark, hoping that he would win, somehow when he couldn’t even see what was real or not. 

Baekhyun ran to him and held his arm, concerned.

“Why are you leaving? You were the one who wanted to play, in first place.”

“I know, it’s just--it’s better if you guys enjoy together, I just--” the writer tried to explain.

“He’s just a sore loser,” Chanyeol complained. 

“Funny that you’re saying that,” Jongin snapped, pointing a finger. “I mean, I’m not going to shoot you but maybe someone will and your clock is ticking, Park. You better run or you’re gonna be more than a sore loser.”

There was an inevitable tension after those words were said. 

“Don’t forget we have rehearsals soon,” Baekhyun whispered, seeming worried.

“How can I forget that,” he whispered back. 

Jongin realized that it was better not to interfere. He had made his decision, after all. And before he turned back to leave, he realized that his words had impacted Chanyeol too.


	6. Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

The light on the room’s windows was too strong, Kyungsoo thought in silence, but the wedding was going to be held at night. His hands were sweating and his feet couldn’t stop shaking, even when Kyungsoo was trying to focus on being quiet, because he was finally realizing the weight of his decision. He had never thought that he was going to get married one day; he just watched his cousins finding good pairs and thought that he was going to be stuck with work and having a career. Those long years of one-sided love and loneliness were gone.

Baekhyun was as nervous as he was, though he liked to mask his emotions with jokes and funny remarks. Yet it was easy to see the way his legs were shaking and how the smile was slowly fading. 

“There will be no aisle,” the lady in red was pointing with a ruler. “So yes, you can just stay there.”

She was the one renting the place for them and probably had done this a few times before. 

“The chorus will be after,” Baekhyun said. 

“But how about the entry song?”

“You said there’s no aisle,” Kyungsoo added, a few steps from them. 

“When you say yes,” she retorted. 

“Will you two say yes?” Chanyeol asked, sitting next to the window. “Aren’t you just signing a paper?”

“I hired a person to give a speech, there are no papers,” Sehun said mysteriously. “I think they will ask you to kiss, so maybe during the kiss?”

“I’m not so sure if we should kiss,” Kyungsoo added. “It’s not necessary…”

The lady in red was getting nervous. 

“I can’t imagine a wedding without the groom kissing the bride,” she realized what she had just said. “Or the groom.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and said:

“Listen, it’s quite simple. The guests will enter and take their places at the tables, we’ll be here,” he stood at the center, on a tiny and short stage, “and the best men here. Whoever is going to talk will be here as well, then we kiss, music starts to play, food is served, people dance and the party is over.”

“It sounds simple,” she agreed. “And where’s the band?”

“They are arriving,” Sehun explained. “They’re pretty big, so we have to adjust to their rehearsal schedule.”

She nodded and stared at Baekhyun, which she had identified as the leader. 

“You don’t have to wait here,” she said. “None of us have to--why don’t you wait for the band outside, babe?”

Kyungsoo stood up in a second, happy to be assigned a task. He only noticed that he was being followed when he crossed the huge door. 

“Hey,” Chanyeol said. “Can we talk?”

Kyungsoo frowned. Chanyeol had asked the same thing at the paintball arena, but then he talked about the appropriate tie color and how they were going to style their hair. At this point, the groom was convinced that it was about the possible bachelor’s party. 

“Huh,” Kyungsoo kept walking. “Yes, of course.”

There were stairs to the garage. The place was bigger than he thought, a huge beige entry with marble floor and long windows like an actual church. They had pictured an open space, maybe next to a beach, but in the end, that was the best option. 

“Just a second,” Chanyeol begged and looked behind his shoulders. “It’s a private… thing.”

Oh, god, Kyungsoo thought, better not be about strippers.

There wasn’t anyone around them. Sehun couldn’t leave his spot as the wedding planner and Baekhyun was too nervous to take a break. Jongin hadn’t showed up yet and they decided that it was okay, since he was probably the last person to fuck something up during the celebration. The writer was working on his toast speech, which was a good thing. Now, Kyungsoo was afraid that he had to say something. 

“Do you think that I should write vows?” He asked his best friend suddenly.

Chanyeol, who seemed as worried as him, relaxed a bit. 

“Not sure, Kyungsoo. Maybe you should be just genuine,” he was gulping. “I have something to tell you.”

It was so early in the morning, it was possible to hear birds singing. Chanyeol was sweating on his white t-shirt and it wasn’t even the hottest hour of the day. 

“I don’t want a bachelor party,” Kyungsoo said. 

“Okay,” was the answer. “It’s not about that.”

The groom wanted to say something but he didn’t - it had been a while since he had a moment like that one. It reminded him of their teenage convos about life and future; and the future had come, here they were, two adults talking about weddings and vows. 

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you about how I feel about this whole wedding thing,” Chanyeol said and a car sound was heard like a backing track. “And it’s hard. I realized that I didn’t know how to express myself because I didn’t figure out my feelings first, you see?”

Oh, Kyungsoo thought, so it was just an emotional moment; and then he braced himself, ignoring the noises around him.

“But hm,” Chanyeol continued, his eyes now staring at the floor. “I think I do now. So, I want to give you something, ok?”

Kyungsoo nodded slowly, attentive. 

Chanyeol put his hand back, probably getting something in his back pocket, looking serious. It felt important. 

“Here,” he said and showed Kyungsoo a candy. 

The groom held it - a chocolate bar, a simple one, kind of cheap. No special flavor, nothing written on it that could be read as a hint. Maybe it was one of the internet things that Kyungsoo had trouble figuring out.

“Chocolate?” Kyungsoo asked, lost. 

“Yes,” was the anxious answer. 

“You’re… feeling like chocolate?” The shorter man was really trying to connect the dots. 

“No,” Chanyeol snorted. “What kind of chocolate is this? Do you remember it?”

“Hm, I think it’s your favorite, no? I guess you used to buy this…” The groom touched the wrapping, but the meaning wasn’t in there. A chocolate bar? “I don’t understand.”

Someone coughed next to them. 

Kim Jongdae. 

“Hello,” the singer smiled. “I’m sorry we’re late.”

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol stared at him, both startled. It was Kim Jongdae, the ballad singer, the number one at family celebrations. There was an anecdote that said that it wasn’t really a wedding if there wasn’t at least one Jongdae’s song. 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo bowed immediately. “There’s no problem.”

Chanyeol took a little longer to react, just bowing in silence. An odd response. 

“We were stuck in traffic,” Jongdae explained sweetly. He didn’t look like a celebrity like this, dressed in jeans and shirt and with no make-up on. 

The groom looked downstairs and realized that the whole band was coming in, probably carrying their instruments. 

“Oh, I see,” Kyungsoo put the chocolate bar in his pocket. “I’m going to help them. Chanyeol, could you please take him to Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol stared at him for a few seconds and then answered. 

“Ahn… of course.”

It was weird, Kyungsoo noticed, but didn’t have time to care about that. 

“My fiancé will explain everything… Sehun is also with them,” Kyungsoo smiled. Jongdae bowed slightly, agreeing, and followed Chanyeol. 

In a matter of seconds, Kyungsoo had forgotten the chocolate and the conversation. His mind went back to the mess of getting closer and closer to his married status. As he helped the musicians to settle, to find the best spot and test the acoustics, whatever reason why there was a chocolate bar melting in his pocket had vanished. 

Chanyeol left earlier with Sehun, mostly because Baekhyun was keeping Kyungsoo there with Jongdae. 

“I can’t really believe this is happening,” the composer was thrilled. “I have written songs thinking about how you would sing.”

Jongdae, who seemed to be a friendly and accessible celebrity, just smiled. 

“We’re testing the acoustics yet, but you can give us one of your songs and we may improvise,” he offered. “If you don’t mind possible mistakes…”

“I would be so honored,” Baekhyun’s voice was shaking. Kyungsoo smiled - he should’ve been jealous, watching his lover being so emotional in front of his celebrity crush, but it was cute. 

Having a crush was cute, he said to himself. His mind, betraying him, made him remember his one-sided teenage crush. The late nights, the movies, holding hands, cooking together, the chocolates on valentine’s--

Oh, Kyungsoo froze in his spot. _Oh, no._

He unconsciously put his hand over his pocket, no longer listening to the two men in front of him. Was Chanyeol referencing _that day_? What he wanted to tell Kyungsoo by giving back that chocolate? 

I set you free...?

I still remember...?

I like you back…?

“No,” Kyungsoo said out loud without noticing. “It can’t be!”

Jongdae seemed to be a bit startled. 

“Yes, he’s like that,” Baekhyun waved his hand dismissively. “A grown man that refuses to kiss his husband in front of his family. I guess you can’t sing that one… but maybe one of your songs.”

“I didn’t expect that answer,” the singer giggled. “What emphasis.”

Kyungsoo gulped, lost.

“Well, since you’re against that, Kyungsoo, which song do you want?” Baekhyun asked, a bit annoyed. 

“Sorry, I was distracted,” Kyungsoo gulped. “I want whatever my fiancé wants.”

“So you’re that kind of a guy?” Jongdae asked, teasing him. 

“Yes, it can’t be helped,” Kyungsoo said. “I’ve made my choice.”


	7. And if my wishes came true, It would've been you

Chanyeol spent the entire day in bed. He blamed the creative process - you can’t make artists create without some idle moments. He was reminiscing the last few days, that felt like an eternity, and sometimes, Kyungsoo’s confused face as he was given the chocolate bar. 

Chanyeol covered his face with the blanket. What was he thinking about? That was cheesy even for him and Kyungsoo didn’t even get it. His phone was ringing and he kept ignoring it because he didn’t want to talk to anyone. It was late, anyway, for anyone to call him. 

He got curious and checked the name on the screen. Oh, it was, Junmyeon-hyung, of course. Maybe he was hiding under his bed or something. Chanyeol sent him a message. 

_ilu but don’t want to talk rn :(_

There were more messages and Chanyeol scrolled. Work, work, Sehun talking about the Calvin Klein model’s dick, more work, Kyung--

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol screamed, sitting up. His hands were shaking when he clicked on the name many times.

**_Hello, Chanyeol. I hope you’re having a good night. I want to talk to you about that Chocolate bar, I think we have things to discuss. I’ll be at home tomorrow, so come by. See you._ **

“Oh, god,” he said to no one, dropping his phone. It was almost midnight, he checked on his watch. He just had to wait a few more hours and then he would have to confess. 

Confess his feelings.

For the first time.  
And maybe ruin a wedding in the process. Or… his longest friendship.

Forever.

The next hour was pure torture. Chanyeol made himself two chamomile teas, put on a calming playlist and tried to meditate. It worked for about fifteen minutes.

“You’re inside a blue bubble....” The voice in the guided meditation audio whispered. “And now you feel safe.”

Chanyeol felt like he was about to explode.

“Fuck this blue bubble,” he said, jumping to get his car keys. The audio was still playing when he put his sandals on and closed the door. 

It was now or never, he realized. It was ridiculous to wait until the morning to be dumped or to confess - there were things that could be only said at night. He was going to knock on Kyungsoo’s door and accept whatever followed next. 

Chanyeol parked and left the car like he was in a movie. He walked like the protagonist would, eyes on the house’s door, not looking back; wind on his face, not smiling, just focused. 

Nothing would stop him.

“Chanyeol?” Someone asked.

He looked down, following the sound. To his surprise, Baekhyun was sitting on the sidewalk. 

“What?” Chanyeol asked.

Baekhyun was dressed in pajamas, holding a lit cigarette, staring up at him.

“What are you doing here?” The groom asked, confused. 

“Huh… what are _you_ doing here?” It was the only response that he could formulate. 

Unexpectedly, Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he tried to hide his cigarette.

“Ahn… just chilling,” the composer said, diverting his eyes.

“Sitting on Kyungsoo’s house sidewalk?” Chanyeol was really curious now. “Why aren’t you inside? I mean, it’s late.”

“I can’t smoke inside,” Baekhyun mumbled.

“Can’t you smoke at the window?”

“No.”

“In the backyard?”

“Well, maybe, fuck it-” Baekhyun said, angry, putting the cigarette between his lips. “Well, Kyungsoo doesn’t know I’m here, okay? I took an uber and now I’m here and I don’t know what to say to him yet, so please stop interrogating me. I’m too nervous to lie.”

Chanyeol analysed the man sitting in front of him and thought, why not? 

“Do you have more of those,” he pointed to the cigarette. “I may need it too.”

The groom took a pack tied to a lighter and shook it. Chanyeol sat next to him, facing the empty, windy street. 

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Well, I want to talk to Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol played with the lighter.

“Don’t tell him I’m smoking, ok? He doesn’t like it.”

“Isn’t he going to smell you when you get in?”

“I’m not sure if I’m going to knock on that door,” Baekhyun blew the smoke out of his nose. “I was just a bit--I didn’t think right before I came.”

“I can see it by your outfit.”

“Shut up, you’re also dressed like you’re going to bed.”

“This is my basic style, to be honest,” Chanyeol giggled, finally lighting the cigarette. “No one would notice any difference.”

“Well, if I had a body like that, I wouldn’t care about fancy clothes too.”

It sounded a bit bitter for a compliment, so Chanyeol side-eyed him. 

“Are you in a bad mood, man?”

“No, I’m just smoking in the middle of the street late at night because I enjoy it,” the groom spat. “Of course, of course. This has been the most stressful time of my entire life. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I can’t think.”

“Weddings are big things, it’s expected.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be that big, I think Kyungsoo is mad about that,” Baekhyun confessed, head between his knees. “Kim fucking Jongdae is going to sing at our wedding. Zhang fucking Yixing is invited. And he didn’t want anything that involved kissing…”

“Of course,” Chanyeol snorted. “You know him, he’s a bit conservative--”

“No, no, I don’t. I don’t know him like you do,” Baekhyun raised his head, glaring. “I’m just so tired of that. I get you are his best friend and know everything about him and shit. So, I’m sorry but I don’t know that much.”

Chanyeol frowned, slightly worried.

“I’m sensing some… animosity,” he said carefully. “That’s okay if you don’t like me, you know? But I’m just trying to help.”

Ah, such a blatant lie. His face didn’t even burn.

Baekhyun stared at him in silence, not moving. He had eye bags under his eyes and looked tired. 

“I don’t think we should marry yet,” he said, serious. “I don’t think we’re ready. And this is all my fault, because if we had just signed the papers and had a simple family meeting like he wanted us to, then it wouldn’t have been complicated.”

Chanyeol gulped, heart beating faster.

It’s happening, he thought.

“I know every couple has problems,” the composer kept talking, completely unaware. “I know Kyungsoo thinks that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I get frustrated because he blocks me emotionally. That’s just--how things are. But since I arrived here I feel like a stranger. I mean, he likes your family better than mine.”

“My family practically raised him,” Chanyeol interrupted (he was offended). “My sister likes him bett--”

“I know,” Baekhyun raised his voice. “He told that to me a hundred times! But have you ever heard about me before you met me?”

Chanyeol was speechless.

No, of course, he hadn’t. And there was actually a good explanation for that - but Baekhyun didn’t know why.

At this point, Chanyeol could end that relationship right there. He could tell the groom that no, Kyungsoo acted like he was single. That it was weird. He could also tell how much Kyungsoo hated big parties and being on the spotlight for his private matters. That the wedding was a mistake from the start. It wouldn’t be a lie, not completely.

But he wouldn’t do that. It would’ve been cruel, he realized, looking at the other man in distress. No one would be happy with the couple’s breakup.

Chanyeol didn’t know anything about Kyungsoo’s life because he broke his best friend’s heart. He didn’t want to, but it happened. And none of them could change what happened, but Kyungsoo chose to move forward and Chanyeol chose to be stuck in their teenage years. Waiting for Kyungsoo to come back and act like nothing had happened between them. 

“I know you didn’t,” Baekhyun mumbled. “I’m sorry if I’m being mean. I’m terrified of losing Kyungsoo.”

“I understand,” the taller man said. “I mean, I didn’t have a relationship as stable as yours, but I can imagine.”

Maybe it was a lie, he wasn’t sure.   
“It’s so funny, you see,” the groom said, smoking casually. “I like pop songs, those dumb and fun songs about love and I’ve always thought that they were a bit absurd? _I can’t breathe without you, please, don’t leave me, baby come back…_ it’s really true when you’re really in love, after all.”

That hit Chanyeol but he wasn’t sure why. He had a few vague words to share but his thoughts were interrupted.

“What are you two doing?” A voice startled them. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol stood up, surprised. It was Kyungsoo’s brother and he had the same reaction when he realized who they were. Open mouth, incredulity. 

“Okay,” he said, walking back. “Kyungsoo! I think they’re here for you.”

Baekhyun threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. Chanyeol was just panicking.

Kyungsoo came out, rubbing his face. He wasn’t wearing glasses, still in his pajamas. 

“What’s… happening? My brother was about to call the police,” he asked, confused. 

“Nothing,” Chanyeol said first. “We were just talking. We didn’t mean to wake you up. Right, Baekhyun?”

“Absolutely,” Baekhyun nodded eagerly. “Just a chat.”

“In front of my house,” Kyungsoo said dryly - he sounded scary when he was sleepý. “After midnight. Without telling me about it.”

No one answered for an excruciatingly long moment. 

“I just came by to tell you,” Baekhyun said suddenly, startling the other two. “To…. tell you… that I.. love you?”

“Couldn’t you call me?” Kyungsoow frowned. 

“Love confessions are best said in person,” Baekhyun rubbed his own arms. “How… how about you, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol was a smart man, but he didn’t like to be pressured. He stared at both grooms, gulping, and then realized that he had, in fact, a reason to be there. 

“The same thing,” he mumbled. The wind was loud, almost howling, and it distracted them from the silence that followed every sentence. 

“What?” Baekhyun asked, turning to him. “You what?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes were huge - he was probably remembering the Chocolate Bar and the texts. Chanyeol realized that at this point, he simply couldn’t back up from his decision. 

“I came here to confess my love,” he answered Baekhyun. “To Kyungsoo. I think he knows about it, I’m not sure.”

It was unexpected and brave and it gave him some advantage. 

“Kyungsoo confessed to me many years ago and I didn’t reciprocate,” Chanyeol continued. “I was too young to realize my feelings, I think. I… I know this is my last shot and I will not keep secrets from my best friend. My feelings are clear and real and I know this isn’t the best time but I want him to know, even if it’s too late.”

Baekhyun turned to his fiancé, waiting for an explanation, anything, and yet Kyungsoo didn’t give them a response. He was slow and probably wasn’t expecting the conversation to happen that way. 

“Is that true?” Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol realized that he wasn’t looking shocked anymore, like it was an actual possibility that he thought about before. 

“This is not the best time or place to discuss this,” Kyungsoo said cautiously.

“I agree,” Chanyeol nodded. “But we’re already talking, aren’t we? It is what it is.”

Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention to any of them, but looking, unfocused, at his own feet, seeming to be lost in his own world. Loud thoughts, judging by the way he was balling his fists. 

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo sighed, closing the door behind him. The street lights hit his face as he walked to meet them. “I didn’t want to talk this way. It’s not fair to any of us. You can’t just scream something and expect me to know what to do next.”

“Say what you’re feeling,” Chanyeol dared, shrugging. “It would be enough for me.”

Kyungsoo was reluctant, as expected. Chanyeol knew what it meant, but Baekhyun looked up, surprised, as if that hesitation meant something else than the obvious ‘I don’t feel the same way anymore’. 

“There’s so much I don’t know about,” Baekhyun said, his face hardening, eyes like steel. “Yet I knew this.”

Chanyeol blinked. 

“You knew… what?”

Baekhyun wasn’t listening to him - he was actually facing Kyungsoo, demanding something with his eyes. 

“I figured it out on my own,” he said. 

Kyungsoo was waiting, visibly worried. 

“That you two had a past,” Baekhyun finally told them.

“We didn’t, that’s the whole point,” Kyungsoo said simply. “Do not overthink, please.”

Baekhyun rubbed his own face and he looked like he was nauseous. 

“I can’t, I can’t,” he gulped, talking out loud. “I’m not- I can’t handle this. We shouldn’t do that anymore.”

In the middle of the night, standing a few steps from the same house that he used to have dinner and laugh, Chanyeol watched his heart break for the first time when Kyungsoo’s voice broke slightly:

“You can’t… what?”

He sounded scared. Not scared like when they were watching horror movies, but deeply terrified, chest rising and falling faster and faster. 

“I don’t think we should marry,” Baekhyun said with a tiny voice, serious. “Ah, I need to leave.”

And just like that, he started running. 

Running away on the empty street, not looking back. 

Kyungsoo watched him for a second and then, screamed his name, loud and clear. Baekhyun kept running, so Kyungsoo went after him. 

Chanyeol was gaping, standing in the same spot.

“What?” He screamed while the other two men ran. “Kyungsoo!

And well, he did what he had to do. 

He followed them. 

It could be funny, really, the way the neighbors were turning on the lights as they ran, probably trying to understand why three grown men were running to, dressed in pajamas, so late at night. 

But Chanyeol didn’t know why he was following them…

He simply didn’t want to be left behind. 

And that was his last thought before he accidentally stepped on a huge stone, and lost his balance at the same time that he felt the pain. He fell on his face, but was quick to support his body on his hands. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled, staring at the concrete. His foot was hurting and he needed a minute before he was able to look up. 

He could only see Kyungsoo’s shadow, disappearing between street lights.

Sehun opened the door. He was fully dressed.

“Shh,” he said before Chanyeol couldn’t even speak. “Yixing is sleeping.”

Chanyeol forgot why he was there and, curious, stared at the man napping on the couch, hugging a laptop.

“He was supposed to work but he feels tired, I think--” Sehun said and then stared at Chanyeol’s red face. “What the fuck happened?”

Chanyeol didn’t know where to start, really. The whole night was an emotional rollercoaster.

“I think I ruined everything,” he sniffed.

Sehun’s face was often unexpressive, but there was a soft look on his eyes in that moment.

“Come on, you’re not that powerful,” he whispered just to make his friend smile. “Come in, let’s talk.”


	8. In my defense, I have none, for digging up the grave another time

Chanyeol really tried to explain as it happened. But the more he tried, the more he felt like there were missing pieces, gaps. What was he trying to accomplish? What was he expecting when he confessed in front of both grooms? 

To be sincere, yes, but he knew the cost. Kyungsoo running away, disappearing from his sight, just like he did years before, but now even it was worse, because he wasn’t running away from his past, he was chasing his future. 

And his future didn’t include Chanyeol. 

“I think he wanted you to be a part of his future,” Sehun argued. “He made you his best man.”

Then why did Chanyeol feel like an imposter? 

“What would happen if he said that he loved you back?” Sehun asked. 

They would be happy together, Chanyeol answered simply. 

“Do you think that you two would work together as a couple?” His best friend retorted. “Dating someone and being their friend are two very distinctive things.”

“Maybe it was an ego trip,” Chanyeol confessed. It wouldn’t be the first one - people often accused him of being egocentric, obsessing about things for a while and then dropping them for a new interesting subject. 

“Maybe you _do_ love him,” Yixing said, surprising both, head still laying on the couch while talking. “But that doesn’t mean that you two belong together.”

Chanyeol didn’t say anything back. 

“I think you should try to apologize,” Sehun pondered. “Right now, it’s the best thing you can do.”

“I don’t think he should apologize for his feelings or for confessing,” Yixing opened his eyes, staring at them. “It was better than hiding, better than lying.”

“Hyung,” Sehun sighed. “Don’t say things like this, you’ll enable his behavior.”

“I’m sorry,” the older man smiled. “I just think that he didn’t ruin anything. A love confession wouldn’t ruin a stable and healthy relationship. It was clear that they had issues to fix, the couple. Don’t be too hard on your friend, babe.”

“Now, there will be no wedding,” Sehun complained. “I wished we could be there together.”

“There will be other fun events,” Yixing promised. 

Chanyeol was half-listening at this point. His mind was connecting the dots, now that he was between two opposite perspectives. 

“I think I should apologize,” Chanyeol stood up, focused. “But not for tonight.”

The other two stared at him, waiting.

**From: Chanyeol**

**To: Kyungsoo**

_Hey. Good morning. It’s me, your best friend, I hope you had a nice breakfast and got some sleep last night, despite the whole mess it was. I wish I could talk to you, but I get that you may not want to see me right now and I want you to read when you’re ready and not when I want to talk._

_Last night, I confessed my feelings to you. And I want you to know that I stand by my words and actions, I think it was necessary, even if it wasn’t the right time… yet I have to apologize, you know, for pressuring you to be there, listening to my feelings without wanting to. I guess I do keep pushing you like I always do, right?_

_I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. Not for last night or for my reckless way of getting you, but confessing just now. It’s late and I realized how hurt you may have been many years ago when I rejected your feelings that way. We’ve never talked about it so it became a huge ghost that we were too scared to face… You never complained and I think you should have. You shouldn’t have been by my side if that hurt you so badly and now I keep asking you to be with me, it’s selfish. It’s just because I know that I loved you back then, but I was so dumb and careless._

_I know you moved on and I’m not as happy as I should, mostly because I didn’t move on at all. I kept not having meaningful relationships or falling in love and maybe it all started when I wasn’t able to confess my love when you did. Or like, when you were here with me. So when I heard about your wedding, that old wound was still fresh and I didn’t even notice it._

_I miss you, really. I’m not sure if we’re the right people for each other right now, you’re so different and so am I, but I had to confess, I had to try to get you back, I couldn’t live without even trying, you know me._

_I’m not sure if you want me around, as a friend or as a lover, I just want you to know that I get it if you don’t. Last night, I could’ve been a terrible person and I chose to be sincere for the first time… I feel good about that. I hope that one day I’ll be able to be happy for your relationship because I think that your fiancé loves you very much and he’s probably better for you than I ever was. But now, I’m bitter about it._

_We did have a past and it hurt me when you said we didn’t. Please, acknowledge me as someone you loved. You never tell about your private life and I realized that you kept your love as a secret for so long that now, it’s a habit. Baekhyun won’t understand why you’re afraid, why you’re being so cautious._

_Again, sorry for breaking your heart. You broke mine too, so I guess we’re finally even._

_Chanyeol._


	9. Been saying "yes" instead of "no"

Jongin, to be sincere, did picture the wedding as a disaster. A personal disaster. Standing heartbroken as his best friend was about to tie the knot, getting his forever happily ever. A few weeks ago, he left a plane in tears as his relationship fell apart and he had to swallow his tears to help someone else to be happy.

What he couldn’t picture was that someone would call him and say that Baekhyun was about to cancel the whole thing. 

He almost crashed his car.

“What?” He screamed at Sehun. “What?!”

_“I called him personally to talk about a few details and he said that it didn’t matter anymore,” Sehun said calmly. “So I called Kyungsoo and he said that they needed time. The wedding is going to be held this weekend, I’m not sure if we have ‘time’.”_

“Do you know what happened?” Jongin was turning back to find a good route to Baekhyun’s house. 

_“I do, but I’m not sure if I should talk, it seems personal.”_

The writer rolled his eyes back. 

“Is it about your asshole friend confessing his love just before the wedding?” He spat, nervous. “Because if it is, don’t worry. He told me himself.”

Sehun was silent for a moment. 

_“Hm, I guess… yes. He confessed and he did it in front of Baekhyun too,”_ he finally explained. 

“That’s the dumbest thing,” Jongin sighed, trying not to curse and failing. “Fuck, I think I can fix this, can I do whatever shit you were about to ask him to do?”

_“It was just about paying the band, he didn’t send the money.”_

“Good, send me the bill, I will pay for it, a best man’s gift for the grooms,” Jongin was staring at the road, driving fast. “I need a favor. I know a way to convince Baekhyun to get married, but I need your help.”

_“Listening.”_

Jongin greeted Baekhyun’s family like he wasn’t that mad. He even played with Baekhyun’s nephew, as if he was just there for a casual visit. He said goodbye and walked to Baekhyun’s room.

His best friend was tucked in a huge blanket, staring at the television. Jongin walked in and knocked an instant ramen cup. There were a few boxes: pizza and ice cream. 

“God,” he gulped, jumping over the trash. “Are you okay?”

Baekhyun turned his head slowly to him, like he was possessed by a spirit - but it was just apathy. 

“Not really,” he mumbled. “I’ve just listened to every Kim Jongdae’s song.”

“That’s rough,” Jongin nodded. “Can I sit here in your bed?”

“Of course.”

Jongin sat on the corner of the bed and rubbed his own thighs. He remembered how easy it was for Baekhyun to cheer him up, even in the most difficult times; his best friend was skilled at making him smile. 

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” Jongin tried his softest tone. 

Baekhyun stared at the wall and didn’t move. 

“Isn’t that weird, I feel like a foreigner,” he whispered. “I’m back home with my family and friends, heading to the most important day of my life and I feel like I’m out of place. I’m in love and my husband-to-be loves me back but I feel so unsafe. You know, I hate feeling afraid.”

“I know.”

“He confessed, you know, the hardcore one,” Baekhyun said suddenly, surprisingly sweet. “We were both heading to Kyungsoo’s house. I wanted to cancel the wedding and he wanted to confess. Isn’t that funny?”

Jongin had to fight his feelings about that choice of word. Funny was cute, dreadful was better.

“What happened last night?” He asked.

“We bumped into each other at Kyungsoo's house, we talked about things, I opened up, I think,” the composer seemed to be reminiscing. “Then, Kyungsoo showed up and he confessed. It was so weird, I didn’t know what to do. I told him I wanted to cancel and I ran away.”

“You,” Jongin frowned. “You ran away?”

“Yes, literally,” Baehyun nodded. “And then, Kyungsoo ran after me and we did that for like, twenty minutes until I was almost hit by a car.”

The writer was about to pass out. 

“What?!”

“I’m not hurt, it was just a scare. Then, Kyungsoo held me and took me home.”

“And?”

“Then I went to bed?”

“No, not that,” Jongin was exasperated. “Did you guys talk?”

“No,” Baekhyun said. “He told me to get some sleep, said that he loved me and wished me good night.”

They were staring at each other in silence. 

“Do you still want to cancel the wedding?” Jongin asked carefully. 

“I don’t know, I’m so tired,” Baekhyun rubbed his own eyes. “I want to go back home and stay in with him, to have our old life back. No more hot best friend who is secretly in love with him, no more family meetings that make us feel so different from each other, no more endless details about a meaningless party.”

“I understand,” Jongin opened his arms, offering a hug. Actually, it was a lie. He truly believed that those fights were inevitable - Baekhyun was complaining about things that couldn’t be erased, like family and past, after all. But right now, his best friend needed a hug and _that_ he was able to offer. 

“Thanks,” the composer threw himself in the other’s arms, rubbing his face on the comfortable sweater. 

“He told me before,” Jongin said quickly. “I knew that he was going to confess.”

Baekhyun didn’t move. 

“But I was afraid to tell you about it, because I knew you were insecure about him,” he continued. “So I tried to interrupt him, you know.”

“Weren’t you guys fucking?” The composer put a distance between them. 

“Nah, we were actually fighting, I do remember the jiu-jitsu classes after all.”

Baekhyun snorted. Ah, finally. 

“You didn’t have to care. Chanyeol’s confession was irrelevant, I think. The whole problem is that Kyungsoo never told me that he confessed in the past too. Again, I felt like a stranger. Like I wasn’t invited.”

Jongin thought about that. 

“Maybe that’s why you’re feeling this way. Kyungsoo has a few unresolved issues, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, yeah. He does,” was the bitter answer.

“You should take this as an opportunity, you see. You guys would have to face this someday, better before the wedding, don’t you think so?”

Baekhyun seemed to be considering when someone knocked on the door, interrupting his thoughts.

“Mom, I’m not hungry anymore,” the groom yelled. 

“Not your mom,” a very familiar voice said. “Can I say hi?”

Jongin and Baekhyun stared at each other, both surprised. 

“It’s Kim Jongdae,” the man said. “Your wedding’s singer?”

“Just a minute,” the two friends said in unison, jumping out of the bed. Jongin grabbed the trash on the floor and Baekhyun tried to make the bed clean, both frantically moving like they had no time. 

“Do I look good,” Baekhyun whispered to his best friend, trying to fix his hair. 

“You’re naturally beautiful,” Jongin assured him. 

“That’s a nice way to say no,” the groom retorted. 

“Shut up, are you going to make him wait while you get pretty?”

Jongin’s question convinced Baekhyun to finally open the door. Kim Jongdae smiled and walked in shyly, also looking like he wasn’t ready for a meeting. 

“Hm, sorry for interrupting,” the singer said. “You have a nice place, huh? Very big. Your family is really nice.”

Baekhyun’s mother must have passed out when she saw the biggest singer in the country knocking on her door. 

“Thank you very much,” the composer bowed quickly. Jongin was slapped to do the same. 

“Your wedding planner called me today after he paid us,” Jongdae scratched his arm, a bit unsure. “He thanked us, but said that the wedding isn’t going to happen anymore. Is that true?”

Baekhyun sighed. 

“Anh… I… was thinking about cancelling, it’s true, but nothing has been decided yet.”

“That’s a shame,” the singer shook his head. “I was already working on that song that you asked me to. I wanted to do a nice thing since it’s my first gay wedding… my girlfriend even started to mock me for my enthusiasm! But it’s fine. I just wanted to ask, anyway.”

“You’re so cute,” Jongin cooed. “Please convince him not to do that.”

“I can’t, that’s not my relationship,” Jongdae raised his hands in defense. “I know bad things can happen and we have to break up… I wrote too many songs about that to say otherwise.”

“Seventeen songs about breakup,” Baekhyun coughed. 

“It was a really terrible one,” Jongdae sighed sadly. “It’s hard to break up when you’re still in love, isn’t it? But when someone does something irredeemable, it’s more about self-respect and moving on.”

“Oh, god, yes,” Jongin felt that. “My ex was in love with someone else, so I’m hurting but moving on.”

“Oh, I even forgave infidelity once, but I think that she no longer loved me anymore,” the singer confessed. “I really was a bit passive about those things… we get blind when we’re in love.”

The two of them stared at the groom, waiting. 

“I just think that he hides a lot of things. And he’s not proud of me,” Baekhyun informed him. “I don’t feel included or celebrated - he doesn’t even want to kiss me…”

“Hm,” Jongdae looked up for a second, thinking. “That may have a good reason, after all. Have you two talked about that?”

“No, they didn’t,” Jongin answered, nervous. “There’s just a bunch of assumptions!”

“Some were right,” Baekhyun pointed. 

“That’s not good,” the singer declared. “Cancelling a wedding just because of miscommunication? You should talk and decide it together, if you’re going to get married. From now on, you two have to be on the same page always since you’re going to share a life.”

“Ah, I can’t believe I’m being scolded by Kim Jongdae,” the groom whispered. 

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” Jongin thanked the guest. “I wasn’t sure if Sehun was going to send you or not.”

“I was really worried when I heard about the situation,” Jongdae confessed. 

“Don’t worry, they’re going to talk and fix this,” Jongin promised. “Baekhyun doesn’t listen to me, but he’ll listen to you.”

“You’re right,” Baekhyun said, but he didn’t seem to be listening to them, only talking to himself. “We need to talk about this. I won’t give up on my happy ending just because of that.”

“Oh, thanks,” Jongdae smiled. “I’ll work on the song then.”

“I’m going to call Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said.

“Well,” Jongin sighed. “I’m going home.”

.

Jongin took his shoes off when he walked in and stretched his arms, yawning. He felt like he got his first win since that whole trip started. 

His sister spotted him in the hall and brought a bouquet of flowers. 

“Hey,” she said. “A really tall guy left it for you.”

“A tall guy?” He frowned, grabbing the flowers. There was a small pink envelope glued to the wrapping, so he opened it and took a little card from inside. 

_Sorry for the mess! You’re a good friend and I’m not._  
  
_Chanyeol._

Jongin snorted. 

“You’re not,” he whispered.


	10. You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

**_From: Kyungsoo_ **

_**To: Chanyeol** _

_Hello, Chanyeol._

_Hope you’re okay and have eaten today. I read your email many times and I wanted to thank you for your honesty. It made me realize that I haven’t been as honest with my fiancé as you were with me and how it could have hurt him._

_We talked on the phone this morning, Baekhyun and I, and I want you to know that I told him that I was in love with you when we were younger and you loved me back. I confessed that pursuing a career overseas was an escape, but not only from you. And I apologized for not being open about my past, for hiding an important part of my life. I made him feel unsafe and I made you feel like a dirty secret._

_I apologize to you too._

_You’re my best friend and you are an indissociable part of who I am today and I’m grateful for our past. Baekhyun and I decided that the wedding is going to happen as planned and it would be an honor to have you as my best man. If you still want to, of course. I understand if you don’t want to come and I won’t be offended by that, but I really want you by my side on this important day._

_Kyungsoo._


	11. And it would've been sweet, If it could've been me

Sehun took a deep breath while carrying the last chair inside. He had to climb on the window to make sure that everything was in perfect order and he was already formally dressed. To make things even more humiliating, he was in the middle of a date and Yixing was oddly entertained by his dedication. 

Sehun was treating him with tiny savories and champagne, a way to apologize for not giving him attention. 

“Hello,” Jongin finally arrived, dressed in a salmon suit and holding a bag. “Am I late?”

“Yes,” Sehun glared. “Of course!”

The band had already rehearsed and left for their room. 

“I brought the towels and the water bottles,” Jongin pointed to the bag. 

“Good, let me take it, they’ll need it,” Sehun sighed. “How about the other best man?”

The writer frowned. 

“Why are you asking me? Isn’t he your best friend?”

“Unfortunately,” Sehun said. He had called Chanyeol a hundred times but had no success. No messages, no calls, not a hint. 

“How about the grooms?” Jongin asked. “Are we going to rehearse?”

“No, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo don’t want to see each other’s attire,” Sehun took the bag from the other, nervous. “It’s you and me who are gonna make things happen, then.”

“I see,” Jongin nodded. “I’ll greet the guests until they get here.”

Sehun thanked him, walking away. He wasn’t expecting to be so stressed, yet so entertained. Maybe he should consider to skip careers and become a full-time event planner; it would be certainly better to do all that stuff when someone he didn’t know was going to get married. 

He wouldn’t be so emotionally invested, probably. He gave what the band requested and fixed the last details. Jongin brought the lady who was going to be the ceremonial celebrant and Sehun made sure that she was well accommodated. 

Kyungsoo arrived with his family. He was well-dressed, classic dark suit and black tie, shiny shoes and hair slicked back. 

“How are we going?” He asked Sehun. 

“Good, I guess,” was the weak answer. “Go entertain the guests.”

Kyungsoo didn’t seem to be nervous and he did as he was told. For a second, Sehun was almost calm. People were coming in, talking, sitting in their places. The red and long carpet was adjusted, lilac flowers decorating the way. 

Baekhyun sent a message. 

_On my way._

Sehun stared at the tiny stage. Oh, god. 

“Sehunnie,” Yixing called. 

“Yes,” the planner answered sweetly. 

“Come sit with me,” the celebrity said. “You look tired.”

Sehun looked around. He didn’t have interest in such celebrations, he thought, but it was nice to watch everyone so well dressed, waiting, anticipating. Flowers and perfume, those kinds of soft things. 

“Fine,” he gave up. “I guess we deserve five minutes of rest.”

And he went back to his romantic date.


	12. Rosé flowing with your chosen family

Baekhyun took the back door. 

He could hear the talking, the noises, and the low music near. He fixed his blue suit and looked for any reflex to check on his hair for the hundredth time. It’s the d-day after all and he feels ready and anxious and confused and happy and sad. 

That event really gained a proportion that no one was really expecting. At this point, Baekhyun didn’t know what was going to happen. He and Kyungsoo were a couple, they lived together, they loved each other. Why was this day different than any other?

Many reasons and none at the same time. 

He closed his eyes in a silent prayer and opened the door. He was next to the bathrooms, the back of the party. His family and Kyungsoo’s were sitting near the stage and the celebrant was heading there. He could spot his friends talking, a few servers coming and going, and Jongin sitting on the stage like a kid. 

Baekhyun smiled. 

His eyes were searching for Kyungsoo, trying to spot his man in the middle of that mess. Their eyes met when Baekhyun stared at the window. 

Kyungsoo was reclining there, looking at him with a tiny smile. As soon as he realized that his fiancé could see him, Baekhyun pointed to his watch. 

It’s time. 

Kyungsoo, instead of walking to his spot at the stage, passed by a couple of strangers and the band to get Baekhyun. 

“Let’s go,” he mumbled, grabbing the composer’s arm strongly but still being gentle. That’s how they crossed the room, side to side. People began to notice and they were taking their places. Jongin jumped up, dusting off his suit jacket. Baekhyun nodded to him and then realized. 

Chanyeol wasn’t there. 

He glanced at Kyungsoo’s serious face and felt guilty. Baekhyun knew how important it was for his fiancé to have his friends there - it was all that he wanted since the beginning, being together with the people he loved. Not famous singers and celebrities, not expensive clothes and celebrants. Just to include everyone. 

As they stood face to face, Baekhyun knew he couldn’t do or say anything. At this point, things were going on their own and they couldn’t force a man to watch the man he loved marrying someone else, anyways. 

“You look handsome,” Jongin whispered to him, a few steps behind. 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun smiled. Ah, he was such a blessed person! Friends, family, love. He had it all - he was glad that he didn’t cancel the party.

The band stopped playing the instrumental song and Jongdae sat down to watch what was coming next. Baekhyun couldn’t believe that his favorite singer was watching him, waiting for the right moment to play the song that he composed himself. But that made sense, after all, because he and Kyungsoo bonded over music and art. It all came together at the end. 

“Can I start?” The celebrant asked, holding a paper. “I know you can’t sign the legal papers here, but a promise is a promise no matter the way it’s done.”

Baekhyun stared at his handsome fiancé. He had seen Kyungsoo dressed like this a couple of times, during awards and formal events, yet he looked mesmerizing. It gave him chills to remember that he was going to spend the rest of his life with someone that he wanted so much; as a lover, as a friend, as a sexual partner, as a work partner, as a roommate, as a confidant. 

“I love you,” he mouthed to Kyungsoo and got himself a pretty smile as an answer. 

“Yes, you can,” someone said, but not the grooms. 

Baekhyun turned his head fast to catch Chanyeol climbing the stage, salmon suit just like Jongin’s. Kyungsoo turned, surprised, for a second. 

“Sorry for being late,” Chanyeol said, gulping. His hair was a mess and he didn’t look like he had much time. “They had trouble with fitting my jacket.”

“I called you a hundred times,” Sehun complained so loud that everybody listened. 

Kyungsoo snorted. 

“Thanks for coming,” the groom then mumbled shyly, still smiling. “Yes, ma’am. You can start.”

Baekhyun really wanted to pay attention to what she was saying - it felt important. Yet, there was a recording and he would watch a hundred times, until he was old and couldn’t remember anything anymore. 

So he stared at his fiancé and thought about what he wanted to say. It was so easy for him to improvise normally; people always commented how fast his mind worked, how he had the best comebacks and jokes. But when it was about baring his heart, he was shy. 

“...as two become one,” she took a deep breath. “Would the grooms share some words with us?”

It felt tense. The band started to gather; it was a crucial moment.

Baekhyun opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He wanted to say too many things at the same time. 

“I want to say a few words,” Kyungsoo said solemnly.

“When he says a few, you better believe that,” Baekhyun found the strength to mock his fiancé, after all.

Kyungsoo didn’t mind. Instead, he grabbed Baekhyun’s hands. 

“I’m happy that I agreed with this celebration even if I previously thought it wasn’t worth it,” he said, serious. “I am very used to living quietly but I finally understood that I shouldn’t be quiet about my love for you.”

If Baekhyun thought it was hard to speak before... now he couldn’t even breathe. 

“I keep the things that I love very close to my heart and sometimes I don’t express myself very well,” Kyungsoo held his fiancé’s arm, pulling him slightly closer. “I’m afraid of ruining things by being loud about them; that they’ll fall apart as I celebrate. I’m glad you changed my mind, I’m lucky to have you and I want everyone to know how much I want us to be together forever. I’ll work hard not to lose you.”

“I love you,” Baekhyun mumbled. 

“I love you,” Kyungsoo said and pulled him for a kiss; holding him close, like he was begging Baekhyun to stay. Lips against lips and everything else had vanished.

It felt safe.

The composer heard the beginning of his song and smiled into the kiss.


	13. And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow

After the photography team stole the husbands away from the guests for a photoshoot, everyone was free to eat and chat about trivialities. There were kids running around and the band was playing american pop songs, those really silly ones. 

Chanyeol wanted to leave.

Actually, he only came because he didn’t want to disappoint his best friend, but he was convinced that he would annoy everyone by showing up as well. In the end, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t about him, after all. 

He didn’t cry or felt anything but relief when he heard the confession. The kiss was a bit shocking, because he wasn’t used to watching Kyungsoo kissing people in public. 

Chanyeol accepted a champagne glass and drank it fast, shaking his head after. In the corner, Sehun and Yixing were having a nice date. Some people had the luck in finding good things even during casual flings - or maybe they knew what to search for. Chanyeol didn’t. He wouldn’t recognize the love of his life even if the person were in front of him.

“Hey,” Jongin waved. “Thank you for the flowers.”

Chanyeol sighed. Another problem.

“Sorry for acting like a jerk,” he mumbled and put the empty glass on a table. “I’m leaving, if anyone asks…”

“Well, at least you came,” Jongin shrugged and differently from Chanyeol, he had makeup on and a perfect hairstyle that matched his face. “Where are you going? Aren’t you kind of drunk?”

Chanyeol was drinking since the sunrise. 

“Maybe.”

“I can drive you home,” the writer offered. “I didn’t drink anything yet. I was too nervous.”

“Aren’t you going to stay?”

“You’re not the only one uncomfortable here,” Jongin pointed, his nervous fingers fidgeting with the buttons of the jacket. “I am heartbroken, too.”

“I forgot that,” Chanyeol nodded. “Wanna go out and do something?”

Jongin made a face. 

“Not like a date,” he seemed a bit disgusted. “No offense.”

Chanyeol snorted. 

“Enough rejections,” he pointed, quiet calm. “No, I don’t want romance so soon, rebounds lead to nothing, right?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jongin said, eyes on the empty stage. “I’m never after love, it just comes, I think. It comes and goes.”

“It comes and goes,” Chanyeol agreed. One day, he would get his heart fixed - at least he had forgiven himself, the things were clear and he hadn’t lost a good friend.

The band played a good song for dancing. 

“Let’s stay,” Chanyeol suggested. “Don’t you wanna show me your ballet moves? Do that plié over my dead body thing. Just don’t kick my ass again.”

Jongin rolled his eyes back and then smiled. 

“That’s not a bad idea.”

.

Late at night, when Junmyeon was about to fall asleep, his phone vibrated. It was Chanyeol’s number; a bit unexpected. Sehun had been gossiping about Chanyeol’s shenanigans and yet that giant brat didn’t call a poor friend serving the country to inform him about wrecking weddings and confessing past midnight. That would’ve been nice. 

He opened it. Just a picture at the wedding, the grooms and their best men. They seemed to be happy, smiling. 

What a simple way to explain things, especially for such an enthusiastic man. Ending cycles may change people, after all. 

“And it’s alright now,” he yawned.


End file.
